I brought a certain ring with Me to work. I knew I was going to go to the mall today and I thought I would get it cleaned.

Why today Why did I bring it? Why do I even have it people ask. Why dont I sell it. Why dont I give it away...

I have only selfish reasons for My logic. My reasons for keeping a thing which represented one of the worst betrayals in My life.

I cant really say how long and how many people gave me their wisdom, or two cents worth of discussionb about how it should be forgottten, or sold. I dont expect people to understand, and I really could give a shit if they do.

It is still beautiful after all those years. Pristine beauty enclosed in a green, velvet box.

I dont hate women. My partener today said I will hate women forever if I carry all that baggage around with Me. I dont agree.

I will quote Henry Rollins for this one:

"ladies, I unconditionally....dig you"

After much reflection by the dim overhead lights and staring at the ring for a while I realized how far I had really come.

Although I will always love all the girls I have ever loved. I dont hold any bitterness towards them. No animosity or bad feelings. Women in general are still on My favorites list. I still oggle them with My eyes. Yearn for their attention, and in many instances fantisize about being with girls I see.

After all the hurt I have been through, I am still hopelessly addicted to a pretty face. A warm smile, and a sweet booty. Firm perky breasts and a pair of eyes that would melt stone.

More than ever I am more attuned to My attraction for women than ever growing up. I know more now. I have more to offer.

To be loved for who were are is what I would hope any of us would want. Everything else is just icing.

It always seems far simpler when Im thinking about it then when I am forced to type it out slowly. I hate writers block.

Back to the ring...

If I find her again......

I only need one girl. One lady. One women to make me whole. To cuddle with me during a movie. To bring me cocoa when Im cold. To look at me and smile.

Despite all the failings Ive had I know what girls usually want. Intellectual conversation. Sensuality. ROmance. To be dominated by kisses and broken with nibbles to the thighs. Protected. Taken seriously. Challened by our masculinity, and to feel victory when we succumb to their femininity. We willingly give in to the power of woman. Instinctually, and mentally we think we are in control when whoever created women was a craft little fucker. The best way to ensure the continuation of humans was to get men to hopelessly want females companions.

You my dears tickle My mind long before you tickle My wee-wee. Look at me and see the man I know I can be. Forgive me for wanting to try too hard to please. Laugh when we pitifully make a joke that wasnt funny.

Damn, Im getting muchy...

I want one. Just one. Im not being depressed here. Im actually looking forward to loving again. Ive traveled hard roads to say that again. We always swear we can never love again. We always think its over when we lose something special.

I dont think like that anymore. Do I still carry some shortcomings in My head? Sure. Do I feel inadequate sometimes? Everytime I see a pretty face I do. I am still intimidated by a girl who makes My ventricles sieze and stop. A soft voice on the air.

No, there is no real point to this ramble.

I dig you girls.....

Ladies....

Pretty faces on the street.

She is out there somewhere.....

I just hope I dont chicken out and walk away.

Ghost <3 girls.