But after a messy respite with My hand this morning I was cleaning up and played some soft music. A sort of epithany came to Me.

I dreamt I was in a time long ago. I walked the castle walls as snow slowly fell down in soft white layers upon My shoulders. I looked to a distant window to see a fire glowing a soft shape fill the opening to wave back towards me in the moonlight. I smiled.

Later on after the woman tucked My children in to bed she layed My head on her lap and sang me to sleep, stroking My hair.

I fell instantly in love with this woman. And being a father.

No, masterbation doesnt make me feel this. But I was in a peaceful, contemplative mood. maybe it was a reveal into what I would consider ideal conditions. A man is a protector, provider. The woman he entrusts with all else. And for once they love each other unconditionally.

I want to be a father.

I want to rock My babies to sleep with ENya playing on a stereo. I want them to feel safe in My arms. And I want someone to enjoy it with.

It isnt asking much.

And as time passes by that very image passes by faster.

I lost My baby this same time a few years ago. This dream triggeed that memory. I was engaged. I was blisfully happy.