My hair was at its peak of spikyness. Porcupine screwing a lightsocket spikey.

I was in a credit union today, making a delivery. The girls kindly asked me if I could take some coin off their hands. Sure, no problem.

I get back from My first trip carrying bags when Im being asked My name.

o_O Oh shit, I did something wrong.....

I was assured that wasnt the case.....even though I plead My case ( I was being silly) and made them all laugh.

"I swear, I didnt know that was illegal.......whatever it was"

Turns out the girls thought I was......oh whats the word......i forget......and wanted to know My name. I forgot to hide My nametag and they were calling out My name to the girls in the bank.

*takes a deep breath* yeah, my face was red. Damn them girly types and their incorrigible flattery.....

I will pretend it wasnt the $391,000 I dropped off, and it was My dashing good looks and witty banter they were clamouring for.

And pigs fly....

Moving right along...

Im broke till payday. Two more days of going without. Fourteen days is like torture when you need moolah. WHoever thought it was a good idea needs to be beaten with a giant dildo.

Speaking of dildos....

I was caught offgaurd today as the driver hit the brakes really fast to prevent squishing a car in front of us and it sent a few thousand pounds of boxed coin to the front of the truck and all over Me.

*keyed radio to base*

"Route 18 to base"

(go ahead 18)

"(My last name) has 40 rolls of quarters up his ass, please advise"

(where are the other 10, over)

I love coin. I fucking love swerving around corners to see the pallets of bozes in the back shimmying this way and that sometimes toppling over, and then we hit the brakes and it all comes to the front.

o_o

Imagine a tsunami of fucking nickels and dimes.....it aint pretty.

A woman is standing behind me in a supermarket the other day. Keeping her distance I glance over to see her staring at Me, and looking away.....finally she speaks in a smiling, nervous tone.....

"thats a awfully big gun"

All the better to disuade someone from robbing Me (smiling and laughing)

*the man behind her speaks chuckling* "its working"

No shit its working. Many people say i dont even need a damn gun, they wouldnt think of even looking at Me funny.

Its expected. and Not everyone can scare the crap out of their fellow man and get paid for it. Fewer still get to babysit about $40 million in cash either....

yeah, I know...

I still havent rolled in it yet. Im biding My time....

(stares at the Simpsons)

I love that show.....