I woke up and chewed last nights leftover pizza with relish thinking to Myself how dark the visions are I have some nights when the eyes are closed.

I was in combat somewhere. It very well might have been the middle east. I could feel My SAW ripping in My hands as I aimed at close range to a bright flash under a desk, or some obstruction. It was a man, a small man now covered in blood. He was unarmed, and dying as we pulled him out from inside whatever it was he was hiding. He looked at Me, and I could see bitterness, and anger coming from him.

This is but part of a longer, more played out dream but this part sticks with me. I know war is wrong. But to see how unbiased it is, how damning an act because there are no innocents. Only victims. Even pulling the trigger makes you a victim. But I remember.....

Freedom, and peace know only one price......blood.

Im off from work today. No big deal really, as I only have housework staring Me in the face. And nothing to watch on TV but the news. I starting to hate the news. As truthful as details can be, there are always people who interpret evidence, and actions diffrently especially if they are simply looking for ratings. Its like a professional bullshit artist coupled with a gossip queen. They are trying to sell their views. Some things are hard to make up, but how many views can we get from so many diffrent sources about something as played out as the headlines are? Facts are facts. Good. Move on please...

Im procrastinating. The little monkey in the back of My head is screaming and throwing poop. But I still havent made it a habit yet. All that shiney new gym stuff and Im sitting here eating day old pizza. Feeling sorry for Myself wont make Me any better. Time to move it bubblebutt.

Brutus offered me one of his bitches.....I respectfully declined.... (he is so sweet)

I need motivation to move. I think thats the hardest part of doing anything worthwhile. Even if we see what doing things can do, we still sit there. Lethargic. I mean I just payed My sister to walktwo blocks to buy mMe something to drink. How fucking pathetic is that? She better get what I ordered though.......grrrrrr...

I guess there is no time like the present to move My fat ass and do something constructive.