There has been alot of road between here and there.

Ive been sick, angry, pissed off, happy, sad, pissed off, sick again, and some pretty close calls before reaching a restroom but I maintain I have not soiled myself to date.

I guess I will start with my health first. Still going for my treatments which are now routine like monthly baths and changing socks when they change colors. The day of the treatment which is always a tuesday I dont even set my alarm clock. No, my biological clock doesnt wake me, my bladder does. A 11am appointment is the last thing on my mind when I wake up and the clock reads twelve minutes past one in the afternoon. The past few months I have been showing up pretty much whenever I want, as long as its before 3 and they already have my medicine made, lunch in the fridge and lots of empty seats. Fuck waiting in the lobby for my turn, and fuck getting up early on my only day off. It all works out in the end...procrastination does pay off.

Last week was hell. Meaning the being sick part. Last wednesday started out fine, until about noon. I went to the little boys room and I swore my innards exploded. Then almost like clockwork each hour required another bathroom visit. It sort of felt like a WWII island hopping campaign conquering new lavatories in public buildings. My apoligies to patrons in the last dept store that day... Im sure they repainted the stall I used.

That night was more of what I had all day plus chills, aches and fever. Most likely a virus of some kind. The symptoms didnt subside till Friday night-ish.

I still havent gone to my sisters house to visit my nephew since earlier this year. Frankly, Im embarrassed to go, and the thought of more drama is what I dont need.... but ive made mental plans to visit on easter.... basket in tow and my mouth shut.

Bills are stacking up. Nothing new about that, but it still hurts to see them, and know I cant get out from under them.

My red car is looking pretty bad sitting in the driveway. Opened it up a few weeks ago to the sight of mildew all over, and realizing I wil nevber be able to rebuild it..... thats as far as my brain will go before shutting down. Getting rid of it is too painful to coimprehend at the present time. So many memories.

Two weeks ago I did my terminal manager a favor by covering on eht early morning shuttle/route truck which starts at 330am sharp. Waking at 2am, and loading the truck for a 4am takeoff for the first of many banks.

First off, that day started at 330am, and ended when I clocked out at 15 minutes past 5pm. Long fucking day. The second to last bank of the day the manager inside was a total cunt. She was....not only did I catch her in a lie, but she tried to put everythint whicvh was screwed up all on my shoulders. I dont want to type it all out as I will just get pissed off again. But she is a cunt, you skinny bitch...

I started dieting again, dont know if I even mentioned that previously. I was back to a weight just over 300lbs. Its depressing, asfter a few years I gained back everything I lost to a hardcore diet and training regimine. So I started up again. More obsticles stood in my way with my health. But I stuck to it for the most part. Up to date Ive lost over 20lbs since early January. It wasnt a new years resolution. It was a personal revolution. Im not getting younger and Im out of excuses. I hope I can do more.

Still single. Was sick for V day. But I did detect a hint of flirting the past week. But as usual Im too fucking scasred to even persue any further. Depression issues and such you know.

How does one react when another person tells you people you have met in the past refer to you as a "mattress". He said it was a complement....but is it really? My name isnt fucking serta/sealy/stearns&foster...so wtf...

But the same people did say that if they ever saw me coming at them, with intent to do harm they would run away shitting purple twinkies...

I hope thats a compliment.