Ive been dieting now for over a week or so, and Im still going strong. No cheating other than extra veggies, some fruit or an extra protien shake. I havent weighed myself lately, Im saving that for another day. Mainly ciz if I didnt lose anything I will prolly binge on naughty food out of sheer depression.

Lessee....

My mom bought me and my brother compact Oreck air purifiers. I think personally out of guilt....but she also loves us alot and wants us to be healthy. It stays on low or its too loud to deal with.

At a bank today a news truck was interviewing people outside the bank apparently because a former bank manager was arrested on charges of stealing over (puts pinky to lip)..."One million dollars."

They asked my driver for an on camera comment and he declined considering it is one of our banks. They didnt want to come over to the truck and ask so he went out to ask WTF they were filming for. Apparently no one tells us shit...

As for yesterday...

She was slowly walking the crosswalk like some sort of lumbering, half asleep land animal who grows moss and fungus on its coat simply because its so slow.

My partner said she "looks like a sloth, but I cant tell how many toes she has" (real sloths have diffrent numbers of toes in their name)

I couldnt help it. It hit my brain instantly and I started laughing hard.

"ok, spit it out...whats so funny"

I could barely say the words without slobbering over myself from laughing while trying to enunciate properly...

"camel-toed sloth"

That was all it took for both of us to laugh our balls off for at least a full minute. Anyone who was brave enough to hear the short story laughed just as hard as we did that time. And I was told Im horrible at least a half dozen times over. Its second only to "you're going to hell."

I might be short on good look, and money but Im never lacking in smartass comments.

Last week this past friday, my partner and I had a wierd idea. SOmehow the conversation in the truck went to him wanting a tiara. According to some he was econd runner up in the Ms. (terminal name) beauty contest. It was like a sign. My mission was clear. To walk into Party city and get him a tiara. One marked "bride" wasnt appropriate. And he wasnt a sweet 16. I chose a red sequined one with a heart on it. Perfect.

I didnt forget myself and donned a little gold crown. We entered the terminal after our route as royal couple. We make such asses of ourselves just for a cheap laugh but it keeps things in perspective. I dont wear the skirt.

;)