Never in my life had I been subjected to the things he had to say about me. Before I continue, in his defense he feels he is entirely justified in what he says, and thinks about me. It started with him asking plainly about my job and where I stood with it. Having left messages each day with no replies he shook his head and said that I was "blackballed". A term usually referring to being ousted or displaced from favor within a group or organization. Being injured so early in my employment doesnt look good but it wasnt as if I faked it.

All my thoughts and explanations were cut off with him shaking his head and telling me that I was clueless. Shallow. Ripping apart my past like he knew me. Making a joke of the tattoos on my arm, or my apparent exuberance while showing them off to the world. I tried to shake it all off and go to sleep. Laying in bed at 7pm, hardly bed time he came in and woke me up, intent on finishing his lecture. This time wanting me to explain the reason I had them in the first place. A brief explanation ensued. I was near tears because I do not hide my emotions well when certain topics come to light. His response felt like a slap in the face.

Forget my past. Move on. He even made a joke by pretending he was me, crawled up in a corner whining about how sad my life is.

The desire to break his neck was almost overwhelming.

He countered with tales of his four marriages (of which I didnt know) and the hard jobs he did, and how I would fail at this one because of my complexion (sunburn) and all the extra weight he said I carried. How work offshore would kill me, and I was too weak to do it. And all I could think of is "four marriages"? And you want to give life lessons to me?

He said I thought him stupid. I dont. He thinks I have it in my mind that I know everything. Anything I said was wrong to him. When he speaks in his twisted cajun slang he expects me to understand wtf he is saying, and when I draw a blank, he chastised me again. All while my cousin lay in bed sick, hearing everything Im sure he said. This man of 60 years truly believes I am completely blind to life. Or that I have no determination to do things for myself. When I tell him I dont go out, "you're so shallow" comes out of his mouth again. I wanted to punch him in the throat.

I dont know where Im going with this. But it makes me sick to my stomach.