My cuz finally returned all my voicemails and took me in. I spent just over 3 days in the car, in a Walmart parking lot. In the rain, eating rolls and drinking leftover fresca I had stashed in the trunk.

It felt good to finally stretch out on a real bed after cramping up in the car, and al those days of 18 hour shifts. Now Im fighting a head cold. The lack of proper nutrition, and vitamins I could take while working are to blame. Last year I nary got sick because I was dosing bigtime on supliments. This season is diffrent.

My brother told me today on the phone his liver which was "sick" and had no idea what was wrong told me they found out his liver has vericose blood vessels in it, and shows areas of moderate scarring. Apparently its genitic and I dont recall any family members ever having it. Something about every 11th generation crap.... but it can kill him if not treated. Now its getting medicare top pay for his trip to the city to see the specialist. They suck, medicare I mean. Fortunately my medical coverage just kicked in the 1st of this month so I am on more solid ground in terms of medical/dental and stuff. One less thing to keep me up at night.

I gave in to one of the legion today. I am allowing "them" to send me something for Christmas, it better be a card without rush delivery. Normally I dont like to recieve anything as it makes me feel obligated to send something back. Like a recycled fruit cake which has been in the family since the war. Either that or a half used stick of deoderant.

So this guy wont be huddles in the drivers seat for the holidays. Payday isnt until the 29th so he is still broke but he will get by. Yes he is speaking in third person for this paragraph. Shaddap. He says so.

Standing on the lower deck of the platform (called the +10 or so ive been told because its 10 ft above the waterline) with 40mph winds, rain and mist saturating my cloths I was forced to reconsider my place in the world. Was I doing the right thing? Is the money worth the aggrevation and poor safety practiced by the boat crews in this company in a rush to just get the job done. But on the same token it made me consider working the days and nights put on me which would benifit my family. They are in a bad way with dad in the hospital with a leg infection. The diabetes really starting to take its toll on him.

*sneezes, blowing nasal amoebas into his puffs plus*

ewww.

*nostrils still backed up*

:(

Anyway, long hours make for a btter payday so I am going to send them at least $1000 regardless of how well I am paid. They need it desperately. Mom was near tears telling me dad was on IV antibiotics, laid up in the VA hospital and money was tight. In her not so nonchalent way she was hinting they needed help. And frankly yours truely is the only one positioned to help them. Knowing full well this was going to be the future for my family, it prompted me to get a better career. This was just the very reason I knew I had to make a drastic change. Take care of my parents. At least financially. Sending that kind of money every payday, will severely cripple any plans I have to bank money but priorities being what they are, I will always put family first.

The fallen son will take up the burden, finally redeeming himself after all the failures and burdens he put on them all those prior years.

The boat I was on was the last in the fleet to come in for bad weather. A full three days after the other boats. They work in thw worst conditions even if its unsafe to get a job done. No wonder people express disinterest of ever going back on the boat once they experience it for themselves. Added to that is how the crew treats new hires. They are relentless in the hazing and harrassment. Unprofessional, and it creates alot of tension. Some people quit once they get on that boat. I can see why.

I will be "on the beach" at least until weather clears after Christmas. Maybe the 27th. Then I either go back to the same vessel or get shipped to a new one. I have to get used to the waiting to work. Its good to have off time, but i cant plan ahead because I just dont know my schedule. The big paydays are sometimes not enough to put a smile on my face. Now I just have to stay with it as long as I can to gain experience, and learn so I can progress. The only course ahead to solidify a better future, take each day as it comes. It can only get better...

Happy holidays. Well, happier than they were looking to be yesterday.