After writing yesterday I went shopping for some suppliments. Having realized my body is....aging (sigh) the need to help it along made me buy some things. New joint complex, St Johns wort, etc. All in the valiant effort to not let the body fall apart so damn fast.

Some young woman sat next to me just now at another computer smelling of cheap baby cigars, and looking like a trailer park whore. Excessive makeup, low cut cleavage with tattoo on her breast and high heels. Classy. Camden's finest no doubt.

*listens to himself off-gassing*

Its a diver thing.

I miss home. My friends ( even the pretend ones) and anyone else who saw fit to keep me company online. Usually they were the only thing I looked forward to daily. It isnt the same without them around.

The past two months have seen me doing alot of priority changing. Soul searching and thinking about what Im really doing here. Wether I made the right choices or not. Wether or not I can follow through with the direction I am going somewhat blindly. As each day is measured in knowledge gained, and tests passed I still cant help but feel I am out of place. The only real enjoyment, or solstice I get is when I am underwater. That is really the only thing which makes sense to me lately.

*listens to more offgassing, as the nitrogen leaves his cells*

Yes, Im a dork.

And hopefully soon a well paid one. That too makes sense. Making something out of nothing. A career to be proud of and another oppertunity to prove I am worth it all. Letting family and friends down pales to how shamed I would be if I failed. After all, some feelings of uncertainty are normal arent they?

I just realized the camden prom queen is also pregnant. How silly of me not to notice. She is 18, 19 years old tops.

*sneaks a look again*

Make that 17, and writing a school paper.

Doh!