A few pieces of turkey, and a handful (literally) of cranberry sauce. Oh and some stuffing. None of which was eaten together, on the same plate, or at the same time. Meals in our house are broken affairs, where no one sits together, and we all go our seperate ways. My brothers favorite spot to eat is the toilet. No one gets to see him wolfing food down in inhuman bites.

The other day I was in a supermarket and unexpectantly two young children walked over to me as I waited by the safe for the manager and the older boy held out his hand to me with a smile and said hello. His sister the cutey she was just smiled and I was shocked into a pause. I eventually regained My composure and shook the boys hand and they went away happy. That made me smile for reasons I cant quite describe.

There is a abnormal subdermal cyst, or pimple on the side of My nose which A: Hurts like a motherfucker B: Wont go away and C: Is pissing me off. I will control the urge to lance it with a large knife and watch the blood drain from My face.

Charlie came over for Thanksgiving to sign the papers. He had misgivings because in His household he is riding on thin ice of sorts and doesnt need his family to find out he is sticking his neck out for me. He is a saint if I believed in them. He would be one for sure. But when he said if his family finds out he will be sharing the couch with me the thought of two large burley men spooning on a small couch is so not cool.

After working hard since last Friday with no time off I am dedicating all morning tomorrow to staying under the covers. Ive worked hard, and made My time count this past week or so. Above and beyond the call of duty. Like a jockstrap that has been shared by football players. A toilet seat in a public restroom. A hooker in a frat house.

o_o

Bad analogies.....

Just go with it.

Today went smoother than any other day of the week. Although it was just as long as the others, I didnt get pissed off, didnt loose patience and nobody got hurt. I had to do some major rearranging of how I went to each stop. I am referring to the order of the places I go to. Not an easy task when some are time stops(cant be there between certain times or before certain times) like banks which need money early as possible, or check cashers which need money all the time. Scheduling for customers is a dicey business. I try to pacify as many people as possible by generally doing as good a job as I can. Today I think I did extremely well. I even got free lunch from TGIFridays. This is why Supervisors kiss My ass, and customers ask for me by name.

"yes, the big scary one with the tattoos"

My reputation precedes Me. Like in this next case....

The Second District Courthouse in Suffolk is a everyday pickup during the week. I have a great working relationship with just about everyone in there. (never know when having friends there will come in handy, not that I am a felon) Including the Court officers, and the clerks. Well some new clersk started yesterday and when I came in I knew somethings were amiss. Bags were marked wrong. Paperwork was wrong, even the bags themselves were sealed wrong. I made faces. Incredulous faces of mock horror while speaking of their wrongdoings...

"you failed bag sealing 101.......OMG, even the paperwork is wrong!.......You FAILED! (while staring at them with wide eyes)"

One of the usual clersk is laughing as she watches this and the new one says to her....

"so this is Patrick eh?"

They even forgot to refill the candy dish. THEY FAILED!!!

The driver upon hearing of the stop drove the wrong way and I didnt let him off the hook either...

"where are you going? *looking around* You failed driving! Gimme your license!"

(the driver laughs and looks away saying he "forgot to turn")

*in a louder tone* "you failed thinking! Hang your head in shame!"

This.....is why they love Me.