It never surprizes Me how realizations, and lessons come at the most interesting times.

Like in the shower...

I mentioned the Olympics. I dremt I was in them, as Im sure millions of others did. Young and old. I am the latter. And I was washing, and felt a horrible pang of regret in My heart. If I had only tried harder than I was willing to go..... I couldve....

Wouldve...

Shouldve....

The search for self identity boys and girls doesnt end at puberty. Or age 18, 21 or anytime. Im 29....

And Im still searching.

Teen angst has nothing on a middle aged mans regret.

And his desire to change it. To become more than the sum of his parts. Could I? Should I? The worst I could do is fail to try and not think of possibilities. Regret is worse than failure. We can never, ever give up on ourselves. Because it is the worst crime we can commit.

I have seen the bottom of the hole. Carried others on My shoulders so that they might rise. But I remained. My shower....My soapy nuts and tears down My face were a message.

"get your ass out of the hole..."

I dont know where Im going. I dont know where the days will take Me. But Im going to run headlong somewhere, as fast as I can.....naked if need be and see where I end up. Its the journey, not the destination that matters. The grave is the destination. Live dammit, and I pity the one who sees Me naked running right thruogh them.

Have a nice day.....

Beeyotches.....

o_o