Where the hell am I supposed to start this one....

Friday. Fucking friday morning. Work. Early. The skies opened up and dumped frieght in My boxershorts and I was swimming in it for all the morning.

Then we come to Friday evening. Typical bar night. But the mood is diffrent. Someone had called the Fire Marshall on us for "violations" and they are forced to make a visit. I have to make sure everyone had their ID on them. Even old people. It is against law to be in a bar without ID, even if your over 21. Then I had to keep a count of who came in and entered the bar, as we were not to exceed 35 persons including staff. Ever try to keep track of people leaving and going when Im looking elsewhere? I was counting every 5 minutes. Turning away customers is so not cool eiher. With 35 in attendance the bar seemed empty. It sucked. Finally after midnight the bar owner told me to stop counting. Good. But its also a risk.

later on that eve I tried to get drunk, drooling twenty somethings to go home. One of the bartenders was trying to tell me they could stay, and she started cooking fucking hamburgers at 10 after 4.......am. birds are chirping, suns rising. Get the fuck out. They finally left, with her protesting. Then I started cleaning the floor. Something I do to help them out. But the same bartender who had issue, told the other girl who Ive always worked with its ok to not do anything, its "his" job (pointing to me). You want to push My buttons? make me feel obligated to do something, or try and take advantage of My good intentions. In silence, but with the look of death on My face I cleaned the ntire fucking bar. Alone. the two girls took over 2 hours to count the fucking drawer of money. Why? One was high AND drunk, the oher merely sloshed. I left shortly before the clock struck 6......disgusted and with HALF the money Im supposed to get.

I made a call early that morning to the bar owner, who leaves after one am usually drunk. We needed to have a talk. And we did talk.

My complaints were descriptive, and to the point. Im not a custodian. You dont pay me to babysit your bartenders. Since I began this job My pay has been mishandled to the point that not one bartender is sure what Im supposed to be paid. This is a problem. I turn away tips from customers. $20, 10, 5's. All for being the best damn bouncer they saw. But Friday night made me regret not taking them. WHich is troubling. I like My job. And want to know regardless of what transpires I will be paid for My work. if I was greedy, or a money hound I would take those tips. But when I dont get paid. I get pissed. Especially when I do all the work.

The results of h talk was that My shift pay would be increased significantly. origionally I was to recive a portion of the tips for the night as well. I was told when I started that if I helped them clean, they might pay me more. But I did that anyway. But lately Im doing more work for less money. I put My foot down, and made sure we knew and had an understanding what My reasons for being there were. Im the bouncer. If I think someone needs to leave, they leave. No arguments. I dont do anyone elses work. that ISNT My job. So that problem was solved.

I tell y primary job that I need Thurs, night, all Friday, All Saturday off for working the bar. Ive been open availibility since I started there. Over a year now. Dennis, the head manager had My supervisor tell me since I couldnt work those two days I will lose My fulltime status. Pardon!?

will lose My vacation accrual. AND My fucking medical/dental benifits. Despite the fact I will still work full time hours, I wont be a full time employee. That is bullshit. What if I was a single parent who needed to wach a child those days? What if I had regulated medical appointments those days? No, I simply want to make more in My life. Secure a more financial coushion. And Im going to be punished for it. This argument is far from over, and Im following it up with work counselors right now. I wont be fucked because Im trying to do right by Me. I wont let them fuck me too.

And on a note:

Ive mentioned this before, but due to My poor typing I usually capitalize all personal pronouns due to My time spent in BDSM/Gorean chat rooms, and discussions. Capitals are for Dom/Masters lowercase for subs/slaves. it is by force of habit I do this. laugh if you must, it will matter to Me not.

Then I come to this morning. Last nights work was far smoother, and lucrative. I actually felt good going to bed, and slept for 12 hours.

A long weekend. Very long. its taken Me over an hour to remember this much. I drained mentaly, and still tired. Bu there was a positive through all this. For the first time I took a drill, and a 3/8th inch drill bit to My belt. 5 inches smaller than it was before. I weighed Myself as well. Ive lost 20 lbs. And Im not quitting. best regards,