Im still fucking tired as hell. I wont have a day off until wednesday. I bought 3 DVD's I cant even watch until then. Im sore from work. I need a backrub, and I need to jerk off something fierce.

A recent phonecall made Me cry when I turned the topic to My least favorite, and least talked about subject......Me. I couldnt help but vent some rather pushed aside, bitter feelings ina blubbering whisper to the unfortunate listener.

Im quite miserable, something I do mention sometimes but not so bluntly. I hide it with sugar coated nonesense. Its not an uncommon misery. Lonliness, no certain direction in life, and of course emotional baggage. can forget that shit now can we. The concrete block of regret weighing us down, but the one we cast off when in love or happier times. But when those times end, there it is waiting for us as we open the door. We make those burdens for ourselves, due to the poor self image alot of us have. A undiagnosed disease of the mind. And theis no real cure. But there is a treatment. Just its hard to get. And I dont think I need to say what it is......

My diet is going.....not as I had hoped....but I still sticking to it, and not piging out, or eating the wrong things. Occasionally I will eat an extra pita, or more yogurt, but thats the extent of My binge. But I do stare at hot dog wagons....and drool a little at pastries. Cmon man, you would too....