This is going to be a weekly habit. Friday melding into Saturday and SUnday seemlessly. One long visual orgy of details. But its all good and Im not complaining. For someone who didnt go out at all, its a major change and I get to see new things. Two thumbs up I say.....

Cash is hand is also a plus. I dont have to sell My soul or walk the streets like a hooker to eat lunch now.

Which reminds me of something zi said the other night. I was at the bar and I mentioned something crazy like wearing a skirt and working for tips like a shot girl but My ass in a skirt would garuntee no business. So they should be grateful.

Im off today, thankfully. I slept fron 2am, till 2pm. My eyes are still trying to open fully. But it beats doing so while driving to get to work.

friday night I thought for sure there was going to be a problem, but was pleasantly surprized there wasnt. We were hopping, and tips were great. Some birthdays, and some harmless flirting were passing from one end of the bar to the next, also with the gratuitous ice cube down diffrent parts of clothing.

I made some new aquaintances, and My personality was welcomed. I think I can describe it as a macbre sadistic sarcasm gentitcally spliced with a comedians. o_o

I offered to shove My maglite up some guys ass if he tryed to hug Me for being funny. At least I smiled first.

Oh and several girls wanted to arm wrestle Me. DOnt know why but one was hanging off My arm with all her body weight when another snuck up from behind and jumped on her hands and My arm. Not cool. Bruised the shit out of My elbow and I think it strained My rotator cuff. But I wasnt mad. The beginning of the night the crowd being as thick as it was I was really watching.

If people dont understand what being a bouncer is, its more than simply bullying people around which it so isnt. No one comes to a place to be bullied. By our very nature we are paid assholes. Party poopers. Im the only one there, soooooo....Im responsible for everyones safty, and security. Drunk people dont think. people wonder why I dont drink while working, simple.....I cant do My job if I cant think clearly. Yeah, I am the one you stare at when you know your doing wrong. Im the guy eyeballing you with his arms crossed. Im also the guy standing behind you when you least expect it. I need to see all things. I would rather stop your party, then let someone get too drunk, accidentally punch an offending person in the mouth for spilling their beer, grabbing an ass of a girl you dont know, and she doesnt like it. And the last thing you always hear me say when you leave is "get home safe". Even if Im the one making you leave. Because thats the point. Get home safe. Repeat business.

Now I know I enjoy all this responsibility. Money is good but respect is better. Appreciation for My work means more than anything. And I take it seriously. Im a paid professional. Act your part right? Everything else I get is just perks.

and now for the pain.

4 pallets of cast iron. My back is on fire and that was two days ago. Shoulders, arms are all rebelling. It sucks ass.

I think I will add a small ramble to this entry. There are alot of times I dont feel right in the head. We all get that "I dont give a fuck" feeling and the world better watch out. We are pissed off. Hear us roar.

having spoke on this before...Im usually the guy envisioning the worst possible end for someone, thats when you either see Me smiling, or pacing around looking at nothing but the floor. Regardless of which you see, walk in the other direction. I ead diaries and I see the things others have had to deal with and in some ways Imm grateful for the things I did have growing up. Which is why I dont want pity. Some have thins harder than Me. My family loves Me. Some didnt have that safety net, even if they had other things. Peace of mind comes in many flavors. SOmetimes all we really need is a shoulder to cry on. All the money i the world wont cut it. Friends, something Im in short supply on hopefully will change with the new venue. But when friends come to save you from yourself, or family which hurts you. Those are people you need to keep around.

My view on friends and family:

Family, we are supposed to love regardless because of the blood ties. I agree to a certain degree. Blood is thicker than water. But friends unlike family choose to be with you. family is already there and quick to judge. Friends are more forgiving, and in tune with who we are as people. Not just some name on a card list for Christmas. Friends know our darkest secrets and will go the extra mile when all others fall short. Family usually is the first to turn their baks when they dont approve, or think it will shame or embarrass them. So who really loves you more, friends or family? Poosibly an unfair question, but maybe it will make people look and see where the lines are drawn for them.