Often Im reminded of things since past. Lost childhood memories, some which I put here so Maybe when Im senile I wont forget them. Memories are the treasures we hold deep inside us. Things which can never be taken away, but can be tarnished. Just like gold.

"clamp me down and dominate me sweetly"

to My knowledge, the one who said this likes it any way but sweet, but maybe exceptions can be made.....until they are in fact clamped down. *chuckles*

Ive been feeling like a retard lately at work, made a few I think silly mistakes and now Im going to have to make up for them somehow. Everyone says it was no biggie, but to Me it was. Im trying but I will sometimes make mistakes, such is life.

Im still alone, thats no surprize. Met up with a bouncer, aquaintance again, havent seen him since last season. The club has been going through some "political" changes. The security manager, is being a baby. As popular, and nice a guy he can be, he has control issues, if he isnt involved in all things, he things he is being left out. So there is a good chance I wont work there again. I dont like drama.

I need to go shooting soon. My 45 is beginning to ask Me to hold it. Soon it will beg Me to pull its trigger. It wants to eat bullets, and spit lead. Thats what they do. Am I some sick freak with a death wish....no. But sometimes shooting holes in things is the only thing which puts a smile back on My face. Utilzing a skill I took great pride in, one which I honed to defend My country, and My life. It becomes part of you. And you grow to love the tools your given, because thats all a gun is, is a tool. Its the intent behind its use, and the person doing it that causes all the problems. Thats like blaming knives for all the stabbings in the world. So when you see that glazed look in My eyes peering through the glass at all the new shiney toys.......feel My childlike happiness, and just go with it.

Mom is losing alot of weight now. 100lbs the past few months, around 1 lb per day sometimes. But they still gave her a wheelchair, to get around. But she is feeling lots better. We are all proud of her as well. She is happiest that she can actually cross her legs again, something she hasnt done in over 30 yrs. Its the little things.

Im thinking of some new tattoos, smaller ones. I still need to save for the big ones I want. I was thinking some small, redesigned eagle, globe and anchors. In a tribal style. One on each collarbone, like My dress uniform use to have. Just a small tribute, since Im already marked. I will ask the artist about it in a few days.