Mr And Mrs SMith is out on DVD. Seeing Miss Jolie in a balck teddie is enough for any mortal man to remove part of his anatomy to buy that legally.

Today was a long one. Not longer in time than other days, but long in that we spent far too much time lost, and looking for locations we didnt know. Driving aimlessly in a truck in rush hour traffic as the sun sets has a way of draining life from your body.

There has been some good news, and bad news in My life recently.

My mom is in the hospital (again) for tests to see if the Aoertic valve which was replaced is leaking. It could mean more surgery or not. My sister due to childbirth is suffering with gall stones, and gestational diabetes. And My borhter is infected with some rare form of herpes in his blood which they dont know where it came from.

o_o

There was one loose end which has tied itself.

I hate not knowing things. Call it incurable curiousity, fueled by a strong desire to care about things I have known in My little universe. This was a pleasant surprize, or at least a gift i didnt know I was going to recieve. And I am grateful.

My mom when she told me about he going to the hospital, she was insistant that I follow through withy school, and not to worry about her, even if it means surgery. She sais this knowing full well I will drop whatever it is Im doing to be there for her. I was in bootcamp for her first open heart surgery. It was qualification day, of second phase on the rifle range. The red cross was giving My senior drill instructor hourly updates on her progress until she was recovering from the operation. I couldnt be there for her. We found out about her surgery shortly after My enlistment and one cant forgo a contractual obligation to the goverment even for a operation. I had to go, and not be there. To possibly be thousands of miles away if My mom died and Id never see her again. Her second surgery I had been home from the military for a few years. Her aorta was weakened, and her valve was calcified providing poor circulation so it was replaced. I was there for that operation, and her recovery. Unlike the last time. I felt involved, informed and like I could help. She is asking me to take that control away, that blanket of comfort being near her provides Me.

We dont evfen know how serious it is. Surgery might even be prolonged months due to doctor scheduling. I could theoricially finish school long before she ever has to go under a knife. I will just have to see.

My ammo arrived. Placed at the wrong fucking door, where there is no light, and it could have been stolen, you stupid fucking delivery-prick.

(added 12/01/05)

My moms preliminary tests came back. She needs another surgery. The valve is leaking from around the edges, and it must be repaired soon. As expected My dad said she is not happy about that. Truth be told she is probably crying right now. Getting ripped open for the third time will be......horrible. The second surgery was complicated by excessive scar tissue. No telling how difficult this one will be. And I think the healing process will be twice as long. I dont know how many times she will survive this.

Almost 14 hours today. Waking up at 4am, riding in a truck all day takes its toll. I am far more exhausted working here than I ever was anyplace else. Wait....I take that back working at the group home wore me out more. But it was only for 4 days a week. Ten hour shifts. More concentrated rap. This is one big long turd of work. No amount of charmin will clear that mess.

*cough, sneeze, gag*

An idea for a picture came to me late yesterday after work. SO powerful a image was this that it made me drive around for three hours looking for a craft store with the items I needed to make this picture happen. How serious I will be in taking it has yet to be seen because it requires me to ummm, capture My less Grated side. Now I cant give away details. But I need to grow some fucking balls to do this, but the very thought had me laughing my ass off. Even mentioning something like it to a few people they agreed it was hilarious. Consider it sort of a free lesson in redundancy. The title of the pic will be:

"some things shouldnt require instructions".

Chew on that one a few. Use your imagination, and draw your own conclusions.

$740 (approx) to replace the springs in My car. This will hopefuly cure the bottoming out on every small crevice, or bump in the road. It will also make me feel like less of a fatass. But not by much.

Tomorrow I will hopefully (word of the night) mail out the last of the paperwork for school, along with the required money orders and hope everything sort of works itself out. I am cutting it close, yet again. This is a hallmark in My personal history which includes every term paper Ive ever written, or havent written and homework assignment which had to be made up at the last minute to graduate the grade I was in currently. Procrastination.....the art of waiting because the present moment is too special to lose out on as it sort of feels like everything is under control or works out when in reality we are fucking dreaming and we will be scrambling like rats on a sinking ship. Tee-hee.

I will fidget until I know anything from the school. Im still not certain, and I am holding on with baited breath. Too much shit on My plate. School, mom and My family. Money and work. And the car. How do I ever find the time, or thought for anything else? I know. I push it all aside when I put My headphones on. Ignorance is bliss, but that too bites us in the ass. See procrastination for details.