There is something extremely therapuetic about scrubbing a fire arm. Scraping rust, or carbon buildup likie I used to back in the Marines. We would spend a week or more some times scrubbing, inspecting and recleaning our weapons. I took out almost all My pistols, and cleaned them. Routine cleaning. Then for the hell of it the Bushmaster AR15. It has been quite neglected. It hasnt been fired in over a year, and I didnt exactly clean it after that particular shooting session. It was pleasantly dirty.

I even took the bolt apart and scraped off the carbon deposits and felt good. Meticulous activity like that soothes the mind I think. I mean I hate cleaning, but it is of personal interest when I own the object in question. I missed doing that. The perfume of cordite, and gun oil filled the air smelling better than any perfume.

I have issues, dont ask.

Today was the route from hell. Nearly 200 miles of driving, and stops so spread out from holiday reasons I had the stops from 5 other routes combined. But I survived.

I cant really say Im satisfied with the way things are going lately. Too many things out of alignment, problems needing solving, and no solutions in view. I have My health, or some facsimile of health people might refer to as "living" but I have a pulse, and clean underwear.

I could care less about watching fireworks tonight.

It can be a sad visual describing the pathetic social calander I have with strangers who ask what My plans are on a particular day.

Work, sleep, work, sleep, in that particular order.

Even My friend Chuck hasnt spoken to Me in over a month.

No one calls.

No one visits.

No one drags me in My underwear to go out.

DO I put out such a bad vibe that people purposely forget to ask me anywhere? Must I invite them to do something first which is always the case. Why do people tell me to get out and make friends when I see plenty of people who see fit to ignore me anyways?

The logic in My thinking confuses people as they are incapable of putting two and two together. I dont fit in anywhere. I never have.

Pity party, table for one in the corner.

I would love for something random to happen in My favor. WHich means unplanned, and unexpected.

In the fun catagory if possible.

The suck catagory is filled already.

Sort of like getting a pie made entirely of burnt crust. No filling.

As for the local news stations making a big deal about kids or teens having a online diary. I am far more at peace with Myself after having written in Mine for a few years now. Anything put on public viewing despite the innocent nature of it will gain attention. The best thing you can do is teach them to watch out for themselves, or someone like me will kidnap their daughters and do unspeakable things to them. o_o

I didnt say that.