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10:56 p.m. - 2004-09-23 I dont know if its a ongoing thing with TV stations...Multiple programs with plots revolving around kidnapping, rape and assualt and Im finding it harder and harder to watch TV. To sit and stomach what it is Im seeing. yeah, Im a contradiction... My name... Morality... But some things are so vile I cant stomach them. Its hurt too many people close to Me. It hits home too closely. A weakness men specifically carry around with them. An ugly arrogance of filth which can be smelled its so strong a trait. I know it was only TV.... What the fuck... Why... Have I ever imagined doing those things? Yes. Many, many times over. To deny we all think of doing things we shouldnt would be to lie in the face of your very character as a human being. The visions would be so strong I could literally taste them on the tip of My tongue. But I never acted on them. I never could. And I never will. Two very simliar sounds... A girl whimpering, screaming......wanting more... Another girl, screaming because she is enduring what no human, man or woman needs to. The selfish act of stealing a persons peace of mind to satisfy trivial pleasures. No concience. No guilt. I sat watching this on TV, reliving other things I have heard and experienced in My mind and wanted to throw the TV. I get phsyically ill with the thought of such things. Hate is too weak a word. Death too good a punishment. People who do this.......need to be tortured. And our minds unfortunately cannot think of a good way to do it. I know Im rambling. But I still cant wipe the sickness from My head and its making Me stress out. I wish I could stop all of this. I even hear a man who beats his girlfriend, he took her 10 month old baby, and raped her. Fuck... We will never be able to eliminate people from doing this. Its a mental disorder. A lapse of reasoning. Weak men. Kill them all.....
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