I have taken things, time and family for granted. All My life, especially when I was young I always assumed, My family, even those who didnt live with Me, would always be there. Something I could count on, look forward to. The people who brought Me presents, cards, made Me icecream deserts, told Me stories. The list goes on, and I have been struggling to remember all I could, about family I have lost.

I spoke of regrets, and being naive....My only true link with family, is My parents. If it werent for them, I wouldnt hear of things outside My little world. Then I think of them, My parents. Them. Ones I take for granted the most. Mom and Dad, the foundation of My life to date, the ones I love more than I can ever say. The idea of losing them, is a constant nightmoare, and an envitable possibility as I watch them age.

My mother....a bleeding heart for the suffering around her. She cares for all. She cried each time she saw Me suffering. Each and every time. I watch her age her health slowing as time passes by. She wants so much for her children to be happy. Mom's life has been a hard one, with little reward, at least to these eyes. Over 50 now her children all grown up. A daughter married. Sons men.

Dad. If there was anyone I would call My mentor, hero, teacher, friend, and inspiration....it is him. I love him also, with all My heart. But we never speak of it. It is..... inferred. A man who only says "love" to one soul, and that is his wife. Devoted to family, I have watched him sacrifice his life to keep us together, one. He has been on a downward slope as My mother has been these past years as well. There is nothing for him to show for it either, as life has been just as cruel, and taken everything. But I know in My heart, he like My mother only want us, thier children to be happy. I swear by all I hold dear, I will care for both of them. I swear it.

I am afraid of death. Its an empty void to Me. I dont see a heaven. I dont see paradise. It is an end, and all that remains is the memories we leave behind for others to remember. For good or bad. How people remember us, is what heaven is to Me. Memories.....being My most precious treasure...I cling to memories like gold. Each intimate detail etched into stone. I can still see My grandparents, all long gone. Uncles, Aunts, cousins... friends. Today was a cruel reminder, and a lesson for Me. Life waits for no one to sieze it. I need to life My life to the fullest, and make people remember. I was alive. To show My gratitude for those who cared enough to love Me all these years. My heart is heavy with want. To leave the world better than I left it. Showing others I am part of them,and they Me. Never again will I overlook My own blood. My kin, or those who I call friend. To be forgotten is to already be dead.