January:

New Years day: drunk idiots driving around.....

MLK Bday: he is dead, get over it....

Febuary:

Lincolns Bday: see above...

Valentines: The most worthless of holidays as it simply reminds us who are alone that we have nothing. Pink is a horrible color and cheap candy is meaningless. A arrow through the heart? I should be so lucky....

rest of the presidents bdays: who the fuck cares....

March:

St. Patricks day: green wearing non irish drunkards....

My bday: so what....

April:

Palm Sunday: church supported masterbation.....

Passover: sort of like passout...

Good Friday: party time...

Easter: talking animals selling chocolate eggs on TV. also worthless....

May:

Mothers day: well....she did put up with Me....

Memorial day: like people actually know what this day really means..... ungrateful bastards....

June:

Flag day: like Memorial day......

Fathers day: puts up with Mothers....

July:

Independance day: like some other holidays, its lost its meaning on most of society, as we forget what the cost of freedom is.

August:

jack shit....

September:

Labor day: when teenagers get drunk for the last time during summer break......

Rosh Hashanah: huh?

October:

Yom Kippur: sounds like something I order with fried rice....

Columbus day: he was lost, didnt ask for directions......his wife probably beat his ass....

Halloween: One holiday I actually enjoy but that has a dark history. Druids went door to door collecting "sacrifices" for a good harvest, either pay up.....or they take your kids instead. No shit. And its also what keeps dentists in business and Jenny Craig....

November:

Election day: like this should be a fucking holiday.....

Veterans day: remembers the living, and dead men and women who chose to face the things which make freedom worth dying for. Some died in the process. Many forget them too......

Thanksgiving: someday turkeys are going to wise up and whack us all.....

December:

Hannukah: 8 nights of presents......and none for Me......fuck you.....

Christmas: Im not going to comment on this one. Christians, Jews.......whoever.....ive lost all faith in any diety. Too many bad things have happened to me during these supposedly happy times. And Im sick of it. All I know is it means Im nearing the finish line of the old year, and getting ready to face the IRS once again.