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11:48 p.m. - 2011-02-25

I know its been a while since I updated this. And I have a perfectly good excuse why I haven't.

I forgot to.

See? Logical, excusable...and real life made me do it.

Not alot of snow lately, a major plus. I can sense a slight change in the weather, signaling spring. Change of seasons, change of pace.

I bought myself an early bday present. A new toy as it were, which isnt a toy in a true sense, but it makes me happy like a new toy did when I was a kid so let me have that please.

Im typing this on a new keyboard too. Solar powered wireless. I thought it was nifty, and different and I needed a change. And no this wasn't the toy I bought, this was just something I wanted for a while. Just something, like new shoes to a woman to pacify something deep in the soul which longs for newness. Not something we need, but something we want regardless of the necessity for the thing in question. It completes us in our imagination. We see ourselves owning it, using it....it becomes part of our mind so we must obtain what we covet lest we lose part of ourselves. There, I enabled splurge spending. Sue me.

The new toy is something like that, an itch which needed to be scratched.

I have a Nuclear stress test on the 15th. I made the appointment myself. Just lets say it was necessary, and leave it at that.

I cant deny the hollowness I sometimes feel deep inside myself. But I feel powerless to change it. Or fill it with anything but hollow fillings.

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