Aiden has been having alot more problems at school. I dont have all the details, but apparently he has been hitting people more and more as he gets older. Part of me thinks his autism might be getting worse. Not an expert, but I cant help but feel thats part of it...as he ages he will keep challenging everyone. He is always being brought to his room to calm him down. Less stimulus. Caitlyn is progressing. Aiden is regressing. Not good. But not altogether surprising.

Its been so hot this past few weeks. One day, Sat was over 105 degrees. Not counting humidity.

My mind has been wandering alot the past month or so. Feels like some sort of adult ADD thing. Even my dreams seem to be wandering from one extreme to the next. Hearing a song on the radio can rip me from a train of thought as fast as a tornado rips through a trailer park. If I overhear a conversation, I am already mentally putting myself in that conversation and imagining myself participating. Hard to explain what I mean but it feels like Im drifting away from reality. Its much easier to ignore whats going on in real life. To pretend things dont have to be dealt with till they are already so far advanced there is nothing you can do personally to stop whats taking place.

The biggest demon in my future is the mortality of my family. Mom, Dad, My brother in particular. With all my medical issues, Im healthier then all of them, and thats a scary thing. We barely get buy as it is, being together. As members of the household ...... go away...

I cant think about it.

I just cant.

My sisters best friend is having problems. This was told to me last night while visiting my sisters and the kids. Her live in boyfriend is an ungrateful scumbag, who has been looking for sex hookups on the internet. On her computer. It was suggested that I intervene and remove this guy from the house.

Ive never been part of an eviction before. This could prove to be interesting.

I finally was able to buy new house phones. The old ones which were not working anymore have been summarily retired.

Little steps Ghost. Baby steps to get your head and emotions unfucked.

Each day passes. I grow more and more distant. Sam would be mad at me....

In 5 days she will be gone a year.

A whole fucking year....