Whats shakin bacon, lessee....

There is talk of moving the terminal operation down the road a ways. Meaning move all our shit from the building which has been falling down since the dawn of time. Everything isnt working, and frankly I never knew it to be any other way, so maybe that is a good thing, a move. Now for the bad.

They are moving the terminal twice the distance I normally drive as it is. Instead of a 30-45 minute commute, I will be looking at 60-90 mins or more depending on traffic. As if gas wasnt bad enough, wear and tear, and losing sleep and personal time to travel to a job which has no future, just a place to go waste my life. Pay debts I will never see the end of and might even die on the job, who knows.

Honestly Berkinix, Id prefer to crawl over broken glass for an hour then participate in a global, virtual hugorgy. No spank you.

Im far to negative, pessimistic, or as Id like to think realistic to believe the world is capable of absorbing all the greed, corruption, and death for a virtual hug to do any good. The pink hair didnt convince me either. Id throw lawn darts at him till the color changed.

*toss* *ping* *scream* *repeat*

Sometimes I sit in the seat of my car and drive with the radio off. Just thinking about what Im facing daily and when it gets to the real juicy, guilt ridden details, the black hole future I see my brain shuts down. Dont like thinking about it, dealing with it and I already know ignoring wont make it go away. But I will put it off till its right in my face and then, Im left with no alternative but to pick a route and continue walking. Its called drifting in the current boys and girls. Not caring which way it takes me as long as I can still see the sky for a little while longer before life finally makes me succumb to the undertow of regret. Eventually I will sink. Eventually there will just be so much there is no recourse but to starve my body, mind, and senses till it all goes black.

How I cherish the little things. Stupid computer programs, that song on the radio, warm food. A place to sleep for a few hours. Tomorrow will come whether you want it to or not its just the little pit stops we take to watch the scenery along that long road to no where down the end.

Ive tried to do the mental math, but it makes my head hurt, and my stomach twist in knots. Looked into the gene pool and the water is ice cold. Glanced into the ballroom and there are no faces looking back at me, thats when you know what not to expect. Not to get your hopes up, cuz you dont have alot of options. Partly of my own making, it isnt my fault I was forced to become this emotional void. I didnt go to school hoping to be tormented by everyone. Nor did I purposely schedule myself for all the heartbreaks I had along the way. You can only blame yourself for so much before you realize all your efforts simply fell on deaf ears, uncaring eyes and cold hearts. You cant make people care. Not unless there is something in it for them.

Emotional greed is just as bad as monetary greed, except the damage it causes can be far more reaching, and lasting.

I dont like being negative, but I cant help it.