Fuck me, I should haver come sooner.

Well I at least have something to ramble about. Something which happened today, and which pissed me off to no end. Guess I should elaborate, but first the small talk.

My treatments are going as good as they can go. Its routine, feels like Ive been doing it forever now. Despite the fact its been less than a year since i started them. My biggest fear at this poitn in regards to the treatments is my veins collapsing, like some long term drug addict with track marks spilling a tale of exess.

Ive gained back all the weight I lost. Depression, and lack of money for health food are the primary culprits. I just dont care anymore. Least for now.

Otherwise Im in decent helath, no major problems to speak of.

Car is doing fine, still have a cracked windsheild, inspection expired in april. No idea when I will be able to afford fixing it.

Family is about the same, nothing special going on.

I buried two friends/coworkers the past two months. One from cancer/treatment gone wrong...the other had a massive heart attack on the truck while working. I miss both of them very much.

R.I.P. Mike and Franky.

My finances are in the toilet. So bad is the condition Im considering something I thought Id never do. You can only guess what that might be....

And I dont mean hooking...

Not with this body anyway.

This morning I was working and went into a stop to pick up the deposits. A national restuarant chain. Fast food. The list isnt that long. I wasnt there long when one of the cashiers was talking to one of her supervisors and I could make out the conversation despite the background noise. I mean I was less than 10 feet away when I heard the conversation.... and couldnt believe what I was hearing.

The cashier was a young muslim woman. I knew this by the scraf she wore over her head, as per Islamic law. Even though it was brutally hot in there she dutifully obeys her culture. Her question was simple. Why doesnt she (the manager) hire anyone but hispanic employees?

She looked quite serious.

The manager laughed at her, as did the other spanish employees. Her reponse to the question?

"spanish people are better".

What? What the fuck did she just say?

"american (white) people are lazy, we are better workers...."

No she didnt.....

"we work harder, etc...."

That poor muslim girl tried valiantly to express her concerns on how people of all types sometimes must wait years to come to this country to live and how she, the manager could only hire illegal, or spanish people was wrong to her.

The latino crew laughed more...at her....and indirectly at me....a mere 10 feet away....seething red. The male manager next to me could only shake his head, and remained silent as he did the paperwork to complete the pickup.

I work 12-16 hour days most times, six days a week. For shit pay. My father has slaved away for over 20 yrs at the same place for less pay than I make for the same number of hours per day without complaint. Both of us decorated vets. Proud vets. Proud americans. How the fuck dare she say that about me, my dad and anyone else who never put their hand out for freebies and breaks their ass to make a living.

I left as quickly as I could, as I was sick to my stomach, and ready to kill that bitch and her crew.

I made a call as soon as I could today. Corporate office. Formal complaint. If I dont get the results I want, if they sugar coat it, simply to pacify me, Im going to the media. I have a big fucking mouth and Im not afraid to lose my job over doing what I know is right, which is putting people in their place.

Racial discrimination is a crime. Even when a minority does it. A growing minority at that. Im not going to sit back and be trashed, or insulted by someone who has no loyalty to this country at all. Or maybe she forgets, lazy white american people are the reason she gets a paycheck.

Not anymore. Either she gets fired or Im blowing the whistle on EVERYONE.

And I dont care who knows.

More later....