Oye its been forever and a day. Ive been working mostly. My usual six day a week habit (forced I tell you, slavelike) which feeds my desire for food, clean clothes, food, and gas for the car. I also might want to mention we ran out of heating oil last tuesday morning when the burner sputtered at 7am and set off the smoke detectors in the house. I barely moved and would have surly died if it was a real fire. Sleep is obviously more important than living. Make a note of this.

In any case later that day I paid for a small shipment of oil, and some guy to come to the house and clean and tune the burner so we could have heat, and hot water. My parents were in the minivan for hours keeping warm. Sadness. But ultimately we got it all working again. Soon I will turn the heat on, as we conserve fuel by leaving it off during the day and using it at night so we are somewhat comfy. Especially early morning wakeups. Rolling out of bed into a icebox sucks hardcore....

Long nights in a Korean winter only solidified that truth. Then there were the cold running water showers in the morning.

Im thouroughly enjoying the holiday sprit demonstrated to me via the rest of the world as I interact with them as I work. Cutting off the truck in traffic. People bitching at us for blocking entrances to malls and stores. My less than democratic way of weaving through traffic when people move too slowly for my liking. Stuff like that. Cant you just feel the good vibes?

o_o

I had a doctors appointment today with Rhuematology(sp?) for my gout. Unfortunately these appointments can only be in the early morning, and on a Friday. So not only do I lose a days pay for coming in, but I have to wake up early and fight rush hour traffic. Upon arriving at 9am at the hospital, the first appointment went smoothly. Met my doc, he checked me over and asked his boss to look at me. Apparently my skin condition was acting up and he questioned me about it. For the record I have and suffer from seborrheic dermatitis. It usually affects the face and scalp and looks like reddish patches on certain areas of the head and face. Sometimes scaling is present. One of my more endearing facial features which brings all the ladies running...... *cough*

ANyhoo....

The boss in question told my doc what it was, and made some reccommendations for treatment. Mind you I was in a arthritis clinic, next to podiatry......

The boss, was also a immunologist, and a dermotologist.....aside from being the leading attending in the arthritis clinic. Im sorry but that impressed the shit out of me...lol

So I have new skin gel which Im told will clear me up fast and for long term. We will see.

Then I went for blood work. Six vials of blood later, I was off to the ER to take care of my bronchitis (which is now medicated) and had other prescriptions which had run out ordered for refills which will arrive by mail.

I left the hospital by 3pm.

9am-3pm and I wasnt paid. Ouch.

Ive wanted to go shopping for gifts but money is of course tight, and Im starting to think one person in particular doesnt deserve anything. Its hard to get your hopes up over promises of communicationg only to be repeatedly let down. Nothing good can come from silence.

When I leave messages which go unanswered....

Another year comes to a close. I still look back on all my other years wondering how things could have been diffrent. Did I make the right choices in relationships, jobs, everything. Not that I get any relevant answers from going within but the passing of tuime gives nostalgia a tug out of the closet and for a brief time I feel good. Ive had good times, even when I was on the verge of horrible things there were indeed good things going on. Those are the memories which come out. That is, when I let them come out.

Happy Holidays.

I love you all.