Many things have expiration dates.

After successfully completing my gout medication a little less than a week ago my foot was fgeeling good, and I was walking normally. Until Sat night. I had made the plan in my head to visit the VA medical center after work. It was closer than if I came from home. But when the route was over all I wanted to do was go home and rest.

Only a few hours later it became apparent that I had made the wrong choice.

It took a long time to get a shoe over that toe. It cried out with each movement. WHy didnt the medicine last?

I arrived at the hospital by 930ish in the PM. The first thing you hear when entering is an announcement on the PA...calling out for help.

"Code blue, emergency room.......code blue...emergency room"

Over and over. People were looking around lost. But I knew what was going on, and it wasnt good.

The triage nurse mentioned with a sigh it was the second one of the night. Then we heard screaming. Yelling and crashing noises down the hall. Family members of the code blue were trashing the hospital in anger, and frustration. Obviously he didnt make it. FLat lined.

Or as I heard in quiet discussion from the staff.... "expired". Like a magazine subscription. Club membership. Yogurt. Panty of the month....

I remember it being described as "passing, or passed" not expired.

My recent diagnosis left me feeling oddly somber having witnessed this little event, before even being seen by a doctor.

Eventually I was seen, led to my bed and interviewed. I was "gifted" with a IV. Of which was inserted in a non delicate way which led to my blood being spiled all over the bed and floor. Not to mention it hurt like hell. Blood was taken, and an injection of a painkiller given.

End result was getting a new prescription with double the dosage of medication, with refills.

Im still in pain.

I had a great brainstorm today. A business idea which in my head made great sense, but without money to get it going it wont ever happen. That is when My imagination teases me with oppertunity knowing damn well I cant follow through.

But its still a good idea.

I have the police exam June 9th. Taking it might be in vain, but I paid to take it and I will. My next dr's appointment is the 13th.

Thats all I know right now, and thats all Im allowing myself to focus on. I dont want to think about what my life will be like now, but to remain focused on the treatment availible, and what the specialists tell me.