I found out sometime today that a supervisor whom I was friends with at the terminal passed away late monday night. His son works there too. I was shocked and devestated as were we all. I will be going to his one hour only wake tomnorrow night after work.

Twenty year sheriffs deputy/narcotics squad veteran in Florida. Another 20 years with the company.

I will miss you Lenny.

Truth is I hate being negative. It makes me feel weak, and selfish. But isnt that what a diary is for? Putting all those thoughts down so we can look back on them and learn from what has happened? Least thats why I do it. For me. I do it for me and oddly enough it affects others. The only negativity Ive ever seen in all my time here is comments about how I should ngrow up, and shit like that and usually they dont leave a name. Yes, those must be the ones who have life all figured out and yet we never hear about them in the news. Their best selling book on how to live the right way never hits the shelves. Talk is indeed cheap. So are some opinions.

I think Im in a slightly better mod today. A little more positive. Its bgeen freezing in the house without any heat but today was mild so Im not freezing my ass off yet. I cant touch my dick when my hands are ice.

And neither should you. o_o

Had a conversation last night which seems all to familiar to me. How handsome and dashing I was in my old military pictures. How I was "so someones type" and yet I was alone the whole time. Not one date. Not one phone call. How odd. People dont believe me when I tell them. But I cant help but feel cheated out of something by being overlooked. Overlooked when you would think I was the most attractive. Most availible. One of many questions I have no answers for.

My dad gave me about 600+ pictures os Aiden last night too. Damn he is cute.