NY home.

Sunday night was the worst yet. He pulled me aside and asked me squarely when I was getting out. "you've overstayed your welcome" or the poigniant shaking of the head then telling me Im screwed up again. But he made it clear that I was "welcome back" and he doesnt want to hear anything from up north (meaning I spread rumors he kicked me out) from my family. Ive overstayed my welcome, yet Im welcomed back. Yes, Im confused too.

I told him I would be out by morning. He got antsy and said that wasnt needed but wanted a date I would leave.

"I will be out by tomorrow" came my reply again.

Rather than dropping the issue he let out another small shit trail of comments about how it was their home, I was interrupting their way of life and they wanted their house back. I couldve sworn I said I would be out by tomorrow.

I did leave. I wanted to silently slip out in the night but couldnt. Packed what little I had in the house and left in the morning. My cousin althought sick came outside to hug me. I felt bad, knowing she wasnt the one yelling but I wasnt going to make her choose family over her husband. It doesnt help that he was almost 20 years her senior.

I met with work to find out why I hadnt been called to work in three weeks. Not working has been a point of contention with her and her husband. Sitting in the house all day. Telling me I screwed up and they forgot about me. I was black listed or some crap.

The truth is, due to the winter storms work is usually halted for all but a few larger vessels, and senior crews. New hires like myself get caught up in this "dead time" and it usually leads to alot of layoffs and quitting by new people. At least I knew it wasnt me, and I wasnt being tossed aside. I had options.

I took the only one offered which was a Leave of Absence. LOA. Work doesant pick up again till after April. Then its non stop. So I can go back to work at my old job delivering millions until then. But I was broke. Remember I was out of work for a month with my injury. Boy when they realized that due to a paperwork error they settled with me damn quick. It took 2 days but they cut me a check for all my lost time that month. A check for $$$$.$$ when none is expected makes the sun shine again.

I headed north. Before meeting with the company I dropped the remainderf of my last payday for a new fuel pump on the car. Thats why it kept stalling out. $600.

I had no problems stalling all the way home. I arrived safely, but tired at 2am this morning. There is still no heat or hot water in the house since before October. I have a pile of mail to go through, and applications for ID's to finish. I havent unpacked the car yet. Most of which I never needed down there. My fingers are freezing, Im wearing a winter coat in the lving room, and there is nothign to eat.