Currently residing in my cousins house just outside the New Orleans city limits. its been nearly three weeks since I got down here, and culture shock set in.

The first leg of the drive was uneventful. Feeling a sense of loss and accomplishment I drove the first 750 or so miles until I reached just over the TN border into Bulls Landing. Just 20 minutes away from where I met my first fiance, in Knoxville. Believe me when I say it was bittersweet being there. Seeing familiar sights, knowing I had been there before under less than ideal circumstances. Sleeping in my car and fighting for a girl who would rip me apart. Was she still there? I have the address. Buried deep in my brain. Should I visit? No. That would be so wrong. I slept for just a few hours, talked to people on the phone, took two showers then left at 2am.

I was still tired but my sleep was restless. $90 was a steep price for clean genitals.

Passing through TN, Alabama and Ol Miss was smooth. I was the only car on the road. Speed limit 70mph and no deer (thankfully) to crush my car to bits.

Passing over the LA border however was to prove a trial. Just 50 miles into the state my engine seized on me stalling which forced me to the side of the road in the growing heat of early afternoon. The temp gauge never peaked above normal. There was oil. Coolant. The battery turned the engine over easily.

I sat for 3 hours hoping a cop wouldnt pull over. The busted headlight and past due inspection sticker are constant reminders I am not exactly "legal" to drive.

I started her up and made semi-silent promises to my car to get her fixed as soon as a rest stop came by, or a garage. Petting the dashboard everyfew miles I cruised at a smooth 20mph as cars honked and swerved around me in the noon heat. Limping in the right lane blinkers on screaming "go around moron" people still found their way to my bumper, and screaching brakes. Flashing highbeams at me to speed up.... I really began to question the group intelligence of the southern states.

Baton Rouge. I pulled off the highway and as soon as I was forced to stop at a red light she stalled again. Ah, she doesnt like slow speeds. Choking when the momentum slows she hiccups and finally stops again. I coughed and kept restarting all the way into a supermarket parking lot.

Wal-Mart was nearby so I walked in and spoke to a mech in the auto shop. Oil change he said. Maybe too much oil clogging the pump. Ok.

I drove the car around with no difficulty to the garage and it was a done deal. Diagnosis was too much oil.

Hour later I was on my way again, no worries, car was running good and I made it to Fayetteville when I pulled off the interstate again she seized again. Fuck me...

It was getting late. I was expected at the hotel by 2pm, it was almost 6. As I sat in a gas station I watched people drinking from paper bags, passing baggies back and forth and sort of felt like I was somehow closer to home. No wait, this was a diffrent kind of ghetto. Cajun ghetto. Better get moving Ghost.... you're unarmed... and they have tabasco....

Seven or eight stalls later, I finally made it to the hotel. Just before 8pm and before the dining area closed. I checked in, ate dinner and crashed into a double and I was one guy. Wakeup call 530am.

Van picked us up at 730. This Holiday Inn was used by the company to house many applicants, and migrant employees they have shuffled around while on the road. Surrounded by sugarcane fields it was pretty desolate.

Met the recruiter I had spoken to on the phone so many times. I told him he seemed taller on the phone and he laughed.

Paperwork, paperwork, and lots more paper. They had forms for everything. I signed so many pages I prolly donated my intestines to science without knowing.

I finished my orientation training this past friday. Now I am on call until they need me.

A waiting game.

But with the promise of good pay, its a detail I have to learn to live with. This doesnt feel like home. I dont feel like I belong here. Knowing I might have to stay here for several years to gain the experience my career calls for I feel very homesick, and lonely.

Six weeks out in the gulf, maybe one or two back and start all over again.

Six weeks of work will get me a five figure paycheck. That new laptop will be a done deal. Can get the ol car fixed properly too. Maybe after the hoidays a new car. But will I be happy?

Only time, and experience will tell.

I did however eat homemade gumbo yesterday and pecan pie. That at least, feels like home.

Best regards.

Ghost