I came home drunk. Had to make a cameo at the old bar I worked in to see some of familiar faces. I bought a few rounds for toasting, and some things never change, some always do. The things you never expect to change do. The things you didnt always notice before look diffrent. You know they are diffrent but never really noticed how diffrent they were before as you didnt notice. Got it? Good.

Things to do today. "Attempt" to get the car inspected. As this is a covert operation I cannot divulge the inner workings or I will have to muder you. Through the screen. I mean it.

Type the resume I will have to appear with on the 2nd. I havent even started it yet. Procrastination is an artform, and Im still a master.

Sort, and pack into the car all the things I need to bring with me when I drive tomorrow. I havent even started it yet, and we wont go down that particular road, because its a dirty one thank you very much.

Side note:

Sasha - 2006-09-28 08:46:40
For all of your talk, all of your everything... you still have more than I ever had or ever will. So quit complaining.

Indeed, in many ways I have been very fortunate. Some would say blessed by the things I have surrounding me. Perhaps I have not seen the forest for the trees, or stopped to smell the roses. Ther ehave been many times I have second guessed my stakes in life, and thought it not worth having. If you have gleaned this by reading one entry, you should dig a little deeper. On that note, I have been healthy for most of my life. Few complications which havent been caused by physical abuse and work injuries. Born without a disease which robs life from me as it did a dear friend. Born instead into a good home, with loving parents. If this is what you mean by fortunate, then yes. Guilty as charged. The truth in that staement is that without that loving set of parents, or my family, I would have been a vastly diffrent person than I am now. Dead, or worse. What can be worse than death? Living life in between happiness and death.

I'd like to believe I approach most downfalls with a little bit of humility, as well as the successes. Part of me wants to believe Im normal. Average so what has happened to me is to be expected and not stand out in any way. Because believing that would make me feel better than believing I was worthless so long ago. Unworthy to be around other people, or cared for. Average is pretty fucking decent compared to the life of some.

If My circumstances seem lofty to you my dear. Than perhaps I am more blessed than I would be led to believe.

Or maybe...

You were just like me, looking from the outside in, and there is something you can do to change your life around. You either are, or arent willing to take the steps to start again. The only person who can decide is reading this right now. Choice is yours.