Resume writing/job placement. Nothing more than a simple lecture of what to expect, and how to write what you want. That a resume is only to get a interview, and it doesnt solidify your job for you. Technically I knew this already but it made it sound grim. Like you are on your own, fly from the nest and come crashing back down to earth new diver. Crash and burn....

Alot of thoughts the past week have been drifting towards the negative.

Lack of this, contention with that and none of it makes too much sense.

Oh, I realized why I hate much of humanity alot of the time. One of my drivers this week was what I can best describe as a cocky, playboy latin king. Extremely brash and arrogant but he did so with a smile and modest boasting. I use the term "modest" very loosly. he wasnt aggressive about it, but he was so selfcentered I wanted to smash his head with a rock.

All he could do was talk about his 8 or 9 various girlfriends he has around the state. None of which knows about the other. he backed his claims up with various pics he took with his cell phone camera to show his guy friends what a stud he is.

He is the guy I hated growing up. The one who stole all the girls, lied and cheated and gave every other guy a bad rap. He justifies the stereotype of the male whore.

I was talking to someone on the phone and he asked if I was trying to set him up on a date.

*enter scoffs, and eye rolling here*

Twenty two years old and he thinks he has life all figured out.

So, do I hate him for his luck, or shun him for his lack or morals? Hmmm...

For all I know the girls do the same thing.

I can only hold the moral high ground for so long. Seeing the flip side for its apparent benifits plays tricks on me. Wow, being a lying asshole gets you alot. Gee, he does it why dont I?

My skin crawls thinking about it. No matter what I just cant bring myself to justify lowering myself just to get laid. Id rather pay....(something else I wouldnt do no matter how desperate I think I am)

Maybe its just stress. The thought of drifting away from everything ive known scares the hell outta me. Hopefuly Im not the only one who has felt like they were drifting with no rescue. Especially when having the comfort of repitition and routine to keep you grounded. This is a new journey. I should expect to feel weightless in the sea of the unknown. But no one said I have to like it. Adventure doesnt have to be something I have to like or be ridiculed. I am friggin scared. WHo knows what might go wrong.

*flip coin over*

On the other hand.....what might go right? Aha.....

Im not that big of a gambler. usually any game of chance isnt worth playing unless I feel I have a good shot at winning. Or just to feel "lucky" with a ticket in my pocket for the lottery, or a girls phone number just waiting to be dialed, something irks me onward into that place where dreams come true.

*exits stage left*

I could have a heart attack 300ft under water, and lose it all.

*raids the girls dressing room*

Or ride the waves into money, fame, power and some supermodels wish list, YEEHAW!

*ahem*

Not wanting to go too far outside the boundaries of good taste or reason, I do keep a healthy dose of humility, and positive thinking in my closet. And all things are taken with a grain of salt, just to be sure.