Somehow I have developed some sort of ulcer/acid problem which is causing me severe pain. Constant pain I might add. My current favorites are the BeechNut table time turkey with rice, and Gerber 2nd foods bananas. The bananas rock, but the turkey and rice is bland. But its one of the only things I can eat which wont inflame my belly. Going to the bregister with baby food, wearing a gun and when they ask if I have a baby I say no and its for me. Yeah.

I have started a Prilosec OTC sequence. We will have to see if it does anything remorely helpful. So far it hasnt done shit. Maybe cuz it was on sale.....?

The promisory note for the loan came today. This as far as Ive gotten before. Its like when they see the paperwork, they get cold feet. I feel guilty for making anyone put their name next to mine for anything. Not that I have ever defaulted on a anything, but I still feel as if I am making someone stick their neck out maybe a little too far than is warrented on My account. Anyone who has been in the position of being a borrower knows what I mean. It isnt just my name on the paper. If I screw this up, I could screw my cosigner along with myself. These are the thoughts which make me somewhat conservative when it comes to financial or career changes. I dont like feeling as if Im floating.

I am no longer a practicing catholic. You could say Im on probation for time served. But easter in all its glory has passed again, and this time I didnt work. The owner didnt want to pay us time and a half, plus eight hours for the holidays. So I sat at home, in My underwear, and cartoonlike sneaker slippers and did basically jackshit all day.

Maybe....

The ulcer is stress related. Could be. Probably is to some extent. Or I could be a fucking hypocondriac. Imagining all thiese illnesses which could be suddenly appearing out of nowhere to drive home the fact I am out of my league. All the setbacks, it does make you wonder if someone is trying to send me a message. Or, am I just being tested to prove I deserve it. Who the hell knows, but I dont believe in anyone pulling my strings.