This doctor has been stonewalling me since I first came to her with this physical business. Although I do respect her thoroughness and willingness to order the tests we thought I needed, she flat out refuses to sign the line after the fact. She says its the way the documents are worded which causes her to procrastinate. This has been ongoing since October of this past year. Phonecalls to the school, and she still feels uneasy about commiting to confirm my tests. The forms state that the exam should (I qoute "should" as in ideally, but not mandatory) be conducted by a doctor with experience in examing people engaged in strenous excersize under strenous enviourments and conditions. (cold water, pressure, lifting, etc...) My doctor says she isnt qualified to sign the form, because of this statement. In all actuality I dont think anyone is. How many Doctors deal with commercial divers all the time? So I am stuck in limbo....

This is the final obsticle blocking my progress. The counselors said I could go to a walk in clinic and have them administer the basic physical for $150....

If I had known this I might have been in school already.

Hindsight, is a motherfucker.

I am optimistic about this whole sport bike thing though. I mean I still harbour some concerns, mainly about safety but as whole I am optimistic. Owning one of those is so much more realistic than that submarine. Focusing my attentions elsewhere serves to guide me in a more goal oriented mindset which will make me more balanced. Especially since Ive been so askew lately. But if going to school does happen, the bike will have to be put on hold. Money for rent and expenses take precedence to a helmet, or gear.

Today I noticed we didnt have any hot water. This meant no shower today. I asked my dad if we ran out of oil, and he said yes over the phone. Apparently the gauge had gotten stuck and he misread it a week earlier. $300 later on My Visa Debit card and we are back in business. But this also means My car payment will be late. Again. Either a clean ass, or a on time payment. I will end this comment with that.

That is just one example of many as to why I never have money. Todate I have laid out close to $1000 this month alone for house expenses. Phone (3 months late) cable (also 3 months behind) and now the fuel for heat. My dad tries, and with mom being out it hasnt been easy for him. So I cant be angry with him. He has always proveded for me in the past and he deserves my help without regret or reprisal. But paying for my needs will be all but impossible.

Looking at everything as a whole, I am poorly prepared for school. I dont have the financial backing younger students enjoy, such as parents who work. The family is often used as a springboard for many upcoming contributors to society, that is after they mature out of the highschool mentality. My age clearly shows I am beyond that, and more but I still never enjoyed that boost some always take for granted.

Pretty.