Im at that point where everything is on the verge of change and I dont know what to make of any of it. There is no consistancy other than what I allow when I come home and close the door behind me.

I put a bid on ebay for a refurbished/slightly newer model of laptop then the one I have now. This one has about had it, and people are astonished it has lasted as long as it has. It was a birthday present to myself in 1999. The darn thing is 7 years old. In dog years thats really old. But it was this computer which completely changed My life. People actually talk to me on here. I speak out more, and Ive matured. My greatest victories have been in actually meeting people I have been fortunate enough to have met online. So as milestones go, this one is worthy of mention. As sad as I am to replace it, I cant make it any better than it already is. I just wont throw it out, it will be saved for a "rainy day". Who knows in the future it might be able to be fixed.

This is the first time in the last 5 years I havent gone to the St Patricks day parade with charlie. He might not admit it, but I know he doesnt want me as a friend anymore. Despite what he says, I just know people.

There isnt much going on. Mom is imroving but is a long way from recovery.

If I wasnt so damn comfused about things, I might feel a little more optimistic than I do right now.