First off mom is doing better. Better meaning she is able to breathe more on her own, but not independantly of the ventilator, or oxygen support just yet. A trachial tube was inserted three days ago, and her blood oxygen/CO2 levels are much better now. This means she is able to stay awake longer now. They are getting her out of bed at times, and she can now eat semi solid foods instead of the feeding tube. The trach has a special valve now so she can speak finally too. Small steps towards the larger goal of recovery. But she can expect another 6 weeks in the hospital PLUS rehab.

There has been a slight rekindling of hope for the school. I dont want to jinx it by giving details but maybe.....maaaaaaybe it will work out this time.

Miss Annabelle has pneumonia. I sensed something was wrong, as its been nearly 2 weeks since I last heard from her. I was close to jumping on a plane and searching hospitals for her.

Sometimes there are moments in life where I go out of My way to solve one of the worlds problems. These "solutions" might be epiphanies or just strokes of wild genius but they are also Ghostisms. Meaning they dont always go in conventional directions. But they are damn effective.

How many people try to diet? Or stop chewing their nails? Better yet, who wants to quit smoking?

You mock those medical commercials. Laughing at how stupid they are, but deep down you wonder if they mean anything. If you have kids, and they make you a ashtray in art class what is this teaching them?

So you've decided to quit. Tried the gum, it makes you wretch. The patch does jack. Its time for more aggressive measures. Thats My que.

But like many things I do, sometimes I tend to go beyond what people find comfortable, but having polled three smokers at work with My6 new idea they all agreed its garunteed to be successful, after thinking it meant beating the crap out of them. (which it doesnt)

Do I have your attention yet?

The first step is understanding the nature of an addiction. By all accounts addicts of any type cant be trusted to just stop on their own. A small portion can, but this is rare or their wouldnt be so many smokers. Yes it might be pleasurable, but it also isnt easy to stop, even when you want to. My method employs another truth. Human beings arent the only creatures on earth who can be addicted to something.

The safegaurd for this cure is in the details. Sign My waiver and I will cure you for little to no money! I dont want profit. My reward is that Ive changed someones life.

Ok, you have signed your life away, I mean signed the waiver so I can treat you....now what? This is a seven day program. Seven glorious days filled with treatment. I offer you the oppertunity to smoke your lasts butt(s) before we begin. One, two, three or more cigs go by and I lead you to your room for the next week. You are shackled and laid in a concrete box with a cagelike top door. You show apprehension, but I have your waiver so shut yer yap and lay down. The cigs were to calm you down before I let you on to the rest of the program. Talking in even tones I explain the background of this cure...

Rats.

I would have trained rats to seek and feed on nicotine. First on that gum, then in water, eventually they find it by scent. Before long they more than willingly trade food for the compulsive addiction I have given them. Any addict will gladly give up a nessesscity for the compound they desire so badly. But with rats they lack the level of reasoning humans do. They simply react to their addiction without thinking of the consequences.

My rats, not some run of the mill variety because I insist on quality will be the finest. New york rats. The big fuckers around warfs, and sewage. Landfills. They sort of look like small dogs from a distance till you get closer. So quality over quantity I only need three or four of these monsters for the week.

Time for bed. These rats will have been starved for a few days, and not given the daily ration of nicotine they crave. Your last puffs will be the only motivation they need to find you. In the dark. Screaming will only make them come faster as the yummy tobacco in your lungs hangs in the air. Now rats can chew through just about anything. Including steel, but not in one night. We have seven fun filled days together.

The holes in the door arent big enough for them to squirm through, but they might claw at you. They will chew at the metal. They will look at you feverishly. Inches from your face they will frantically try to get to your delicious ashtray smelling mouth. If the cage werent there they would have easily chewed through to your chest and eaten your lungs.

End of night one.

In the morning I ask how you slept. If you pissed yourself you can expect a bucketful of cold water. You might be taken out for a whipping, then you are offered food and a after meal cigarette. My three co workers told me fuck you. But they might not think so after a few days. But if they still refuse I will toss in a few butts into the cage to reliven the friends who keep you company when the lights go out.

As the week progresses Im sure the holes get bigger in the cage door. You have run out of tears, and you have screamed yourself hoarse. If you make it to day five intact the chances of you even wanting a cigarette should be slim. Maybe the thought of a nice mouthfull of hairy pestilence would dissuade you from wanting a butt. Then again you could sign up for another week.

I didnt say it was pretty, just effective. And remember My wiaver protects me.

I could elaborate more on what goes on during the nights, but I think you get the idea.

You have a problem, drop me a line Im sure I can come up with a cure.