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10:19 p.m. - 2006-01-20 p>The knife arrived. Finally. And thats all the good news for today. Part of My day was spent waiting for UPS to show up. I never heard the truck, but even waiting by the door was fruitless. As the sun was setting I looked down behind some silly object left on the porch and I saw a small white box that wasnt there this morning. Yes, I felt stupid. But excited too. It was beefier than I expected. Now I know how people feel when they see me for the first time. Oh how the bitterness wells up inside. Feeling guilty for something I didnt know I did. Or if I even deserved this kind of treatment. My computer...... I made the attempt to convert My new cd to mp3 so I could load a few songs on My phone. 4 Songs....took 360 minutes to complete. No Im not kidding. And when conversion was successful it took several attempts to get those songs into the minicard. My boss/supervisor/whiney assistant terminal manager begged me to come in tomorrow. Well, when he asks his first try is in the form of a statement. "Come in tomorrow." The second attempt if he meets with opposition is in the form of begging. "cmon, dont fuck me" His last attempt almost always includes some sort of deal. "Cmon, I will give you a extra man, and you can just sit on the truck. Stay on the truck and just show them where to go" I could do that, and make money instead of collecting sick pay. Im only allowed 10 days of sick time a year. Eight hours for each day. So I have used about three so far. I could easily exceed 10 to 12 hours tomorrow, and that includes overtime. So it isnt actually a bad idea. Even if I am still not 100%. But the oppertunity to sit on the truck, bundled up beats sitting at home, with nothing on tv but kiddie programs. Im tired of sitting around, feeling sick. I am also tired of being punished like this. If I am guilty at least tell me what I have done. Real Thing: KMFDM Cracking under pressure violently Gimme the real thing I have no friends Gimme something real too. Like hope.
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