I laughed at that one. Genuinely, and with little sarcasm. What made it so funny was I am here, alone at home, and there are...umm..."legions" of people who think Im just nifty. o_o

I have no reason to lie here. Or to myself because ultimately I write for myself, to reflect and look back and make sense of the things I let pass in My head from day to day. I capture ideas, and trains of thought I regretted forgetting earlier on. I didnt want to have to rediscover things I had revealed years before through hard lessons, and lost days.

The best way I can describe my personality is I am the sort who takes what he likes of others, and makes it part of himself. This makes me a culmination of many diffrent people. Not just My parents. To include my deep desires and weird tastes and fantasies. Gor isnt something I found myself. It was purely accidental, and the way it was introduced was in a sarcastic light. It was being mocked by others who had already walked that route and decided to leave due to the players and lies they found. But despite their warnings....I ventured forth on My own and Im sure to this day I am a dissapointment to those people I was friends with. Many of which I have not spoken to in years. Which is regrettable.

Being one who takes what he finds pleasing I find many variations pleasing as well. You could be blonde, brunette, and redhead. But usually there is a special something which attracts My attention to you. Where personality, and pretty face coincide and make the tapestry of your being more beautiful to the eye of the beholder. My attractions run along what I find most desireable. I want my cake, and to eat it too. I refuse to believe people are bound by some social moral which precludes them from being all that I want them to be. Playful. Wanting to include me in exploring your mind and body. Tough. You pout when I wont let you touch one of My dangerous toys, or you enjoy a good wrestle beneath the sheets. I cant worry wether or not I will break you. o_o Dressup. There is something extremely alluring about a woman, a pretty girl being feminine. Showing me why I am glad to be a heterosexual male. It makes my mind and heart race. It is also because I enjoy buying nice things for a girl I am close to. Price no object, I buy what I want to dress you in, and maybe rip off later on. Bear. Ogre. Namely Me. I am not shredded, ripped, or sliced like designer jeans in a meat grinder. There is no six pack, its more like a keg. But Im warm, and on cold nights you will cling like saran wrap when the tempature drops. What better excuse to be close? I saved the best for last.

Lap pet.

I need you to want to be close. To tease me without moving or saying a word by just being close to me. Tempting me to touch you. I am particularly fond of a girl getting comfy on My lap, and usually it doesnt take long for my libido to take over from there. It is more intimate to me than most give it credit for. A lap dance from a strange girl doesnt share the same intimacy. I know the girl bending over for my money doesnt care about me, and is only waiting for the song to end. Even if she makes eye contact you know she goes home to another. I need the silent promise your eyes give me. Enjoying your soft posterior on My lap is just......sensory overload. Which also points to My favorite position. Girl facing me on top while seated. Its all right there. Veyr hot, very personal, and sweaty.

So like the rest of mankind I am visually stimulated. You wearing just the right clothing to set me off. You take your resrved seat, namely My lap. Your scent fills My nostrils and I am intranced. Tug at My collar looking in My eyes silently begging me to play with you. Believe me, I will oblige. Little to no prompting required as the look alone is all the consent I need.

Ive been asked why I have difficulty asking girls out.

Rejection is normal, and a good reason. Not that I lack confidence in My abilities to please a girl. I have references, and fully functioning dick thank you. But I dont rely on implied consent to "go for it". Thats what makes a nice guy into a creep. If Im not entirely sure, I dont even try. Too much at stake. The beauty of the internet allows me to meet people and get to know the real them without the visual blindfold people use to judge them. Because no matter what, when it it all comes down we are all pink on the inside. We all look the same in the dark. So if you cant enjoy whats on the inside, the outside is just a wrapper hiding shitty material.

I am picky I guess too. Holding out for one I know will love me, or at least give me a chance before I invest My heart again. One night stands are the things bastard children are made of. And I dare not go into the wierd diseases I could catch from a "bad piece of ass". There is no prescription for being stupid and horny. Kind of where My premise of "foresight trumps hindsight". Acting proactively to prevent My dick turning green and falling off and simply being more observant and avoiding the drunk chick with the Hot topic tshirt making eyes at me on the intenet or in a bar.

Being selective doesnt mean I insist on perfection. Its more of a guideline where I know the person I dream of wont be a malicious, lying cheating whore. A truthful, loyal whore is a good compromise Im willing to make. Especially if she likes kinky shit. o_o

Use your imagination on what "kinky" translates into and the rest is left to speculation. That is a whole other chapter I dont feel like wringing from My brain just yet.

In other news...

*carries in a bank 4 boxes of quarters ($500 each weighing nearly 30lbs each) 1 box of nickels ($100) and 1 box of pennies($25) as the bag of currency ordered rides on the top of the pile. Grand total weight approx 140lbs od dead weight*

(enter female clerk opening door and leading me behind the counterspaces)

"oh, just give me a minute......do you have $2000 in quarters?" She says as I hold this all on My shoulder.

"dont worry, I'll just hold this here..." I say making it a point to let her know this stuff gets heavy after a while but I was laughing.

"oh Im sorry put it over here, on the floor (near a vault)

*setting each box down one at a time, as they were stacked two across My shoulder I grabh each box setting it down and finally I get done and hand her the reciept*

"oh, you must be so storng to do that" She says admiring how easy I made it seem.

"not really" I say making it sound like I wasnt really strong at all...

"but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night......"