No it isnt some hidden warning. It was so rqandom, fueled by passing the airport in the rain driving home. Just flying away, somewhere Ive never been before and letting it all just go. I have no answers for why.

I did try to write an entire entry yesterday, but after coming close to finishing the computer decided to0 erase it all and I quickly gave up. Some things are forgotten forever sometimes.

Why cant you remember me? When will I become a priority...

I dont think being needy, and wanting to be needed are the same. Rejection sucks. Being lied to, or betrayed even worse. Used, abused and made to think it was all our fault. The optimism that it was a fluke only works the first time. I know I have become jaded to the fact my past relationships all ended under similar pretenses. Coincidence? Did these girls all study from the same person on how to interact with men? I am the only variable which remains the same. Despite the many changes I have gone through, I am still for reasons I cant think of left behind.

Sort of like being left off a invite list for a party. They meant to invite you, but thought you wouldnt be interested. Excuse made, and the deed is done.

How easily we push things aside, or people when its convenient. When we dont have anything to lose on their end. No feelings to get hurt. Nothing wagered, nothing lost. Not really selfish but hardly considerate.

I address this as something I see happening to people I know too. Just one more facet of My personality I share with others. Maybe one more attribute which brings me closer to being normal I guess.

Rain has been falling for 8 days.

I want to get on topic but My mind is racing. Trying to grasp a few words here and there and I am unable to formulate logical ideas. Writers block.....yeah thats it.....

I wait with baited breath until the school calls to tell me My application was accepted.

My sister is starting to dilate. Word is she will shoot out My nephew sometime this weekend.