When is enough enough. To open oneself to rejection so many times to have the heart speared with bitterness.

When am I going to learn to not look at what I know will send My heart in the dark. Why wasnt such devotion, and excitement shared with me? It is hard to explain to someone who doesnt understand the nature of the relationship I had with her. The risks I took. The risks she took. And the trust I had in her to protect me.

I am not over you....

Swallowing the lump in My throat is proving to be impossible.

There is no pride in crying myself to sleep.

I try to be patient, but as seeing as that has never given me anything such waiting has made me bitter. Jaded to the point I have given up on myself, and the worth people lend to me in the time I am with them. No compliment I have been given has ever stood the testr of time. Ironically someone else always overshadows My importance in life.

Pessimistic sarcasm perhaps.

I know there is a diffrence between physical pain, and suffering. When the body tells us something is wrong. Suffering is when we hurt for no other reason than there is no other way for our emotions to get out. I think that is the most unbearable of pains. No cure. No medicine to make it go away. Unseen wounds which sometime never heal. And no, it isnt fair. Rarely do any of us deserve such punishment.

It seems all I ever do is describe little nothings, and depressive feelings day in day out. I tire of the monotony. There has to be a upswing somewhere for me.

Hard to be positive, when you lose ground each day.

But I still try.