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Jane Doe183 - 05/01/2012

March 14th - 04/20/2012

coming back....soon - 2012-02-02

Sickly - 2011-09-28

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6:20 p.m. - 2005-10-02

My chrome muffler is dangling, and scraping the ground. Only things keeping it elevated is two luckily found clothes hangers, and a u-bolt clamp.

It had been totally seperated from the 3 inch pie by rust, and Im sure a few hits and such from curbs. More expense, more things needing to be repaired, and no money to do so.

*le sigh*

I miss the innocence of childhood playtime. There were no deadlines, no expenses.....nothing to fear cept the monster under the bed.

If I had built a "fort" out of boxes, to me it was the most heavily defended fort in known history. However the shame of people passing me seeing My muffler dangling like a broken limb and not to mention the busted nose of the car is sometimes too much. I cant even make eye contact with people. Like Im white trash. It isnt vanity, but I feel like the poor kid in ripped clothes all over again.

And we wont discuss that little opus for now.

The past two weeks has shown me how wound I have become. The stress I have placed on Myself is more than I can ever remmeber contending with. How important the next three moths will be to the rest of My life. Not to mention the foloowing 6 months afterward. I recall discussing overextending Myself to complete this journey to a new life. It is already making me a nervous wreck. Maybe it would be more accurate to say I have more optimism too, meaning I will be on the road to being self sufficient.

To boldly go where no schmuck has gone before....

And I dont mean a girlscout slumber party.

Girls are so much safer when they're legal...

So little is going my way right now. So much more is against me. And I have no one to turn to. Not a very desirable position to be in. But it could be worse. Bent over a prison bed gangraped by 15 motherfuckers would be worse. But as Ive always said.....Ive taken it in the ass so many times by life I wouldnt even feel it.

Its the lack of romance which would break My heart. We all have needs dont we?

(yes, that was sick, get over it already)

There is no politically correct way to ask "bubba" to sweep you off your feet...man to man. And to hold you afterwards.

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