Wether it was fate, or bad luck but everytime I have been with a girl, there were always extenuating circumstances surrounding the entire event. I say event because if you actually understood the risks I took each time you would not see it as drama. Drama it seems finds me anyway.

I dream of finding someone like me. But not hurt like me. I would want them to see me through innocent eyes. Untouched by lies, by deciet and by a bastard who didnt care about what he was doing.

Ive never had a meaningless moment alone with someone. It has always meant something to me. Even when the circumstances were dangerous, or risky, to let My guard down enough to share in a emotionally intimate moment was priceless. So I never took those brief times for granted. And I dont regret any of them. Even when the relationship which spawned them was currupted.

Shaking My head in wonder how so many people get together so easily makes me think where I went wrong. Or is what I do wrong at all. Maybe just a diffrent form of risky escapes.

My clothes are Cheer Dark fresh. My past experience with Gain proved that it sucked donkey balls. Never again. We wont even discuss Tide. That bastard child of luandry detergents in My mind.

In clean underwear I sat in the truck questioning the path My choices will lead to. Will I fail this school. Is there money enough to spare to pay My bills while I train. Am I making a mistake. In My excitement I tell select few of My choice. It is past history that when I talk of the future, it fails to come true. So am I jinxed....

Why cant you kiss me, and breathe life back into a dark existance.