Ever say something you instantly regretted because the wrong person heard it? Been there, done it, have the shirts being used as rags as we speak. But in hindsight I think speaking My mind was in fact the right thing to do anyway. I dont like sugar coating things. Life is far from sugary goodness, and it deserves honest and open discussion.

"Sinning" is such a crime.

How else are we supposed to learn unless we break tradition every now and then. If it isnt fatal I say go forth and seize the oppertunity by the nipples and see what shakes loose.

I watched them get into their cars. Walk through the streets looking for things to buy. Dropped off money at the banks they use to spend, spend, spend. We dont seem all that diffrent. A man was wearing a MIT ballcap and some silly tshirt with what appeared to be a calculus formula. Was it humerous? Poignant? Or was he a super nerd talking on his cell phone and off duty from working in some high paying engineers job. Math is a language I never really understood, and I am paying for My lack of knowledge in ways I will never experience.

It is so hard to clarify the ways I see into the lives of other people. My own needs being overshadowed by the excess all around me.

I guess Im just bitter is all.

DOes time slip away without a struggle? Will we not miss it all until it is gone forever. I could have done this, but did not. Often it is hard to not compare oneself to others. It is no wonder alot of us have depression because of a lack of self worth. A pound of feathers isnt worth the same as a pound of gold.

Im working alot of hours. Im restless and Im waiting for time to allow some vacation sometime.

I wanted frank to hit a bike rider we were passing on a downhill road in Montauk today. I said it would be like playing midget football. He said he had a game like that at home.

Why are people so fucking selfish....

So indevidualized. Ive said thius all before but it still pisses me off. You materialistic lumps of rhino shit. There is a #7 train with your name on it. Play tag with a bus. See if you can swallow a whole bottle, then have someone give the heimlich till it breaks. Or simply impale yourself on the nearest possible sharp object. Bonus points for leaping.