There is alot of shit going through My mind right now, some out of My control and some just staring me in the face and it makes simple thoughts that much more hostile.

I just need to bitch. To vent frustrations, in no particular order but more for the release and the oppertunity it will give me to think them out more clearly.

I am in a bind with my car. If i cannot come up with a solution by the end of the month, I wont have a car to drive. Without the money needed to fix it, My registration is going to expire, it wont pass inspection and they will suspend My lisence if I dont turn in My plates. hence no car. And possibly no job.

Bills are staggering. There is no easy solution there either. I simply dont make enough even working overtime to stay ahead of things. And before anyone tries to offer "advice" stop and consider I have already thought of every other way to get over this and there is no easy way. You dont know My circumstances and advice no matter how well intended will only piss me off to no end.

In past rambles I have mentioned the selfishness of people, and how shitty it is. What if someone wronged you, just for spite, and because they could and it was your word against theirs. What if they were powerfully rich, and you were not and that was the obvious barrier between you and justice. Wouldnt you feel cheated? The system worked against you just because you didnt have a more expensive lawyer. You didnt play golf with the chief of police. I could go on and on and speculate new ways the average man or woman could be taken for a ride, just because they were..........well....just not as popular.

You'd be pissed off right? Mad at the world? Would you seek revenge, or beleive the system will fix it eventually only realizing you are forgotten as soon as you are stepped on?

People might be born equal, but that doesnt stop others from taking advantage for selfish gain and smiting the innocent in the persuit of indulgence and gluttony. There is no system. There is no justice for all. Not unless you are amoung the social elite. Even then the powerful are only so because of the all powerful dollar in the bank. So what then makes us equal?

Some of the richest people i have met were complete idiots, with zero fucking common sense. College educattions are no garuntee of intelligent thought. it means you listened to lectures, and followed a lesson. It doesnt make you better then anyone else.

To spite any future i could have had, I would seek Justice for My family, if it ever happened to me. Where the system overlooked Me because I didnt have the money to influence anyone. As wrongh as it sounds, it would be what I would do.

Would that make me a terrorist?

You're the underdog. You have been "wronged" by a more powerful opponent. You feel justified in defending your honor. You are willing to die to get revenge.

If that is the case, I would be seen as no diffrent than a islamic jihadist in the middle east. The only diffrence is My revenge wouldnt be religiously motivated. But that wouldnt stop the closed minded drones of the world fromn making it out to look that way. I would no doubt be suffering some mental illness. Be desperately trying to send a message. To be seen as nothing but a emotionless monster of My own derranged creation.

Love of family, or justice obviously couldnt be a valid reason. That would make too much sense.....

Yet it happens everyday.

There is always a undercurrent of thought which justifies actions over words.

Im not happy at all.

I do in some way feel overlooked. Cheated out of something I could have, should have had but didnt get. it would be unreasonable of me to assume anyone could understand what I mean by this, unless they too have seen what it is I speak of. Pretty arrogant of me to say, but I know for the kost part I am right in My line of thinking. If you have shared this lack of oppertunities, then you shouldnt be offended.

Pity, can be seen as patronizing. Good intentions not thouroughly thought out. Feelings hurt, people offended. This is just a statement of fact.

If I didnt make any sense here, I dont give a shit.

Fuck you very much.

If you are offended, pray I dont dunk you in perfume, and hang you by your neck as a fucking air freshner, you prideful fuck.