There are certain events going outside of reality for me. Intuition is on full alert. Even the most subtle hints blare like warning sirens in the night. Am I being too sensitive? Too analytical?

I have learned one giant lesson in life. Never, ever get My hopes so high that I come crashing down. It has happened too many times to count. I have always known long shots dont always pay off. So feeling that they will only leads to trouble. Mainly for me.

It matters not the circumstances, if I have it in My mind that something is going to go My way.....it is almost certainly destined for failure. I dont quite know what it is. Do I get too involved in trying to make things work out? Should I have instead stood back and let it happen? This goes for anything in My life. Work, relationships, personal, family. When I should have shut up, I said the wrong things. or as it has happened before.,.....what I said was taken out of context. Never a good thing.

I talk about how I try and eliminate drama from My life. When in fact it is always there anyway. Following me around. I admit I create some of it just by acting the way I do.

Today at work (yes I went in, no fever today)a coworker who was helping us get our route checked out is an ex NYPD cop. My partner was joking with me how I missed all the fun being out, and I told him to fuck himself(jokingly) and I offered him a hug if it would feel better. Adding in I might crack a few ribs, but it would redefine the boundaries of manlove between two strangers. he laughed, the excop sai without any emotion in his voice "felony assault" and kept working. I looked at him and he was dead serious. Now the personality of this guy was always in question. he is known for his dry personality. But it only reinforces My choice of not persueing law enforcement. If you cant be a normal person, without seeing crime in every thing, whats the point?

Im far too openminded to be a closed minded drone.

Im going to end this ramble now before it mutates and spreads like a plague.