Wether Im being sarcastic now or not will be left up to speculation. I got home 2 hours early too. Everything just went FAST yesterday. *shrugs*

Im wearing My big sneaker slippers, ate cold leftover pizza for brunch......

All other personal drama aside.....Im still feeling quite emotionally drained from several loose ends in My life. I hate loose ends. They leave you doubting things, which is never a good thing. You also doubt yourself for having those unanswered questions. friendships which have seemingly vanished. Where did all the caring go. The feelings. The good times. Apparently the sewer....

Mail came over the past few days. My official score for the NYPD came in.

96.764

Whatever....

Im not in a particularly spectacular mood. I would have hoped that was apparent by now. If not......oh well.

I feel like Im losing touch with everything, and losing touch with people around me. Not a very good feeling. Sort of like drowning alone.....

You know its hopeless, you reach out and nothing is there. You're grasping for nothing....but worst is you expect someone to be there. So now you feel let down. Better to get it over with and let the water fill your lungs then try and reason with the futility in grasping for more water.

I touched My wee-wee last night.

What I*m going to do on My day off.......certainly not the things Ive desperately needing to do. Oh no.....

Im going to sit here and feel sorry for Myself some more. Alone in the house doing nothing. Fingers gripped by the dampness.

Its My own fault I sit here. Im unwilling to help Myself. Just occured you know...

I let Myself drown hoping someone will save Me and no one does.

I need to think about this some more....