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5:17 p.m. - 2005-01-04

The irony of human nature, and society:

Why build a lifelong legacy for yourself, when its easier to destroy someone elses....

As always I am ever pondering the meaning of life. Why you ask? I have the free time. Dont thank me yet....

How many of us worry that we wont live up to the expectations of friends, or family? Anyone? Family traditions we are born into, expected to carry on and go through the motions to fullfill. How empty that must be. How would I feel knowing I have no path but the one laid before me. What if My family were sewer workers. Unionized and proud. Do I turn my nose to the family legacy of potty workers? Do I maybe perhaps color outside the lines and be a hotdog salesman. Shouldnt it be the choice of the person.....well how often do we not get that chance. How often others are made to suffer the humiliation of family for shamfully living outside the box. To me it is the family who is afraid. They are the ones embarrassed to be seen as something other than what they wish to portray. How about this one.....a family of strapping young sons.....and the quietly, secret homosexual one. Parents want grandkids right. Do you try and make it work when obviously you have no inclination to touch kitty.

Which brings me to a horrible realization. This next mothers day, thank a homosexual for not knocking up your mom before your dad. (hate me if you want, you will see the wisdom in my words in time)

Where was I....

Oh yes, sappy philosophical crap...

Part of My indevidual growth has been understanding I felt obligated to a life of trying to fit in. Wanting to be the symbol of authority, or a figure with respect and responsibility. Police, or other profession. But I also realize I dont need to be any of that to have those things. I can still be respected. Will I miss out on things? Certainly......but we cant really expect to accomplish everything in life. That would be the shameful thing to do. Force Myself to gain things I might not really feel comfortable doing. We really need to step back, and understand as long as we feel we have accomplished something, there is pride in that. Freedom to be who you are is a big secret to living. Especially if you want to be happy. Not just satisfied.

Dont be afrid to color outside the box. In fact use the bright crayon instead of the one someone handed you. You can worship me later. You might even like it.....

Ghost says Ni-ni...

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