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5:15 p.m. - 2004-10-28 yet another banner....Mmmmm, yeah......sorta like that. Alot of crap today. Tons even. I was doing some more internal soul searching, also referred to as thinking about shit and I came up with some nifty new ways of looking at things. People can be rather self centered in life cant they. We see them, the popular ones. Super stars, or plain lucky rich folk who never had to earn a living. (take into consideration this doesnt include all people, there are exceptions) No matter how pretty/handsome they are......how much money they possess. They are the usually the ones who fall hardest when bad things happen. Some simply assume nothing bad could happen to them. A charmed life.....friends, popularity. What could go wrong? o_o Im getting to it... Picture it this way.... Our lives are based on a foundation of experiences and learning yes? Sort of like clay, or concrete. I prefer clay. We all start out with the same amount of this clay. Those with advantages, build their foundations higher. More quickly as circumstance shines down on them for that time. Those like me, we dont build as quickly. Haveing to earn our way we build slower. Wider. The view from the top of that platform is a dizzying one. So high to climb, so quickly, and so easy to fall. A foundation built on narrow bricks will never be stable. it will crack in the slightest of breezes. Yes? And when they fall.......they hit hard. its no wonder privledged indeviduals whine at the littlest things. Now from My short and stumpy view. Long flat pile of stone I have no fear of falling. My gains modest. I know I stand on firm footing and the only way to go is up. With a firmer, more experienced base I can climb ever higher than those who flew to the top. Stability, and humility boys and girls.....means confidence. Discipline to do what has to be done to simply survive. We built our foundations brick by brick, handful of clay at a time. Dont always loom higher for guidance by those who look down on you laughing. Save your tears for when they hit the ground and you cry yourself to sleep from laughing so hard your belly hurts. And for all those high and mighty "model" types out there who think they are all that and a bag of chips....a few kicks to your skinney knees will make you crumble as well. Looks arent everything. I was also thinking we live in a highly regimented society. A fucking rule for any breath you take. Step on that rock you're trespassing, spit in that puddle its a fine. What fucking happened to the world? We take ourselves and our own self importance to extremes sometimes. We stole land which we never had a right to claim. We kick poor people out of the only home they know because you raised their rent to buy that new sports car you wanted. Where is the justice/fairness in that shit? Gone are the days when men were fucking men, women were happy enough to get a man who wasnt afraid to work more than 12 hours in a day without whining. Ive never gotten to live in times like those, but I miss them anyway. We now live in a world where the father who kills the man who was raping his young daughter goes to jail for murder. When did protecting your family become a crime? When defending yourself lands you in a lawsuit in which the criminal gets more than he was going to steal anyway. Where too, is justice for that? Where everyone second guesses your intentions and makes you part of the whole sterotype of people who dont care. I fucking care. I care more than most. And less than only a few extremists go to. We read into things too much. Assuming anyone who drives a car is a maniac is wrong. Those who own guns are all militants. Women who were raped and want an abortion arent murderers. Seeing things through a closed mind only reinforces the bad behaviors, expectations and demands we will make on those around us. You would be surprized at what you can see if you simply sit and watch people interacting in public. How selfish they are. Distrustful. Dirty...... A disposible society will only kill itself. Smoking a butt and tossing it away is a good example. Short term carelessness leads to long term problems. "not My problem, I tossed it." Keep thinking that nimrod. When you cant drink clean water unless its been bottled. A endless cycle of compalcent careless, behavior. Sometimes I hate being human. We really are monsters.
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