you work yourself up into a frenzy, preparing for some great thing. Its all you dream about, and live for.

Then your in heaven.

Everything else pales in comparison. Everything is a letdown. And you hate your life.

I miss her.

And there is nothing I can do right now to stop feeling this way.

Despite the ongoing efforts to make change, change doesnt happen overnight. And I also dont want to get too dramatic, or over the top. But I do speak from the heart in all things. No sugar coating. No preservatives.

I look outside the window and its diffrent. Food has lost its taste. The smells are diffrent. I feel detached. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Over emphasising details I find dire? I dont know...

Im scared.

Uncertainty is an ugly thing. It makes me seem selfish, and unreliable.

I cant stop talking about it. Does that make it sound less important? Makes Me seem more overanalytical?

Not much hapens in My life. SO when I find something I truly believe in, I cant shut up.....