My email box had a small surprize, but so did My mailbox. First My mailbox. After a long fucking day, cleaning, doing the normal and abnormal tasks assigned I say just two envelopes on My desk. Both from the same location, with My name on them. I swallowed hard. It was worse than I thought.

Professional Doctors fee: $161.00

Emergency room level III fee: $840.00

Not having the money to pay, and wanting to disembowel Myself with a cooking spoon: priceless....

Fuck.

$1,001.00

I didnt think it would nearly half that amount. I didnt get much done. The doctor saw me for 5 minutes. Dammit to hell....

So now I ask Myself....what else can happen to me today? I check My email. The usual shit, and one interesting one. From a semi local car dealership. My resume that was posted online took their interest. Im invited to a interview. The letter hinted to "outstanding earning potential!" and other incentives, but I found Myself suddenly confused. The dates for the interviews, are days Im working. Then I think that is this a positive change Im considering? I really like where I work, but I get paid very little. Reality rears its ugly head in the earlier mail. I need more than Im getting. But at what cost? Risking a steady job, for unknowns? What if I leave where I am, and fail at the new place, as I know its commision based. I could potentially make no money. Its playing with My head.

Im scared of change. But I know I will eventually need to get a better job anyway, but is this what Im looking for? I dont know....