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1:09 a.m. - 2004-01-07

Im tired (big surprize)

When a devoted night owl falls asleep by 7pm, something is wrong. Not to mention the fact its quite demoralizing, and disturbing to Me. But what do I blame it on? Whats causing it, besides the "usual suspects"? Its also cutting into My masterbation time. No wonder Im cranky....

My book reading is going slowly, but Im going to finish hell or high water. So My reviews of the books mentioned earlier will be late in coming. Like anyone cares anyway but Me.

Tomorrow is laundry day. I have My fabric softener, Cheer with color gaurd, and stinky clothes. it should be interesting. I might bring a weapon.

there have been weird dreams as of late. People I know in jail. Just alot of odd things. My imagination often can get me into trouble, feeding ideas in My head, when they are as far fetched as pigs running for office.

Im scared. An unreasonable fear that I shouldnt even be concerned about. It isnt like I can do anything about whats going on. And its just like Me to be vague and indirect. Its My diary. Part of me realizes some people read this. I have revealed some pretty personal details here as well. But I dont want to lock this diary. Im often surprized at the random, responses I get. Im finding I need outside opinion sometimes. Especially when I cant think for Myself. We all have moments like that. Indecisive, confused, desperate. Looking for answers to questions we can barely grasp as shadows when we close our eyes. So do I let people see My dreams, problems, shortcomings? I already have.....so I dont think I should stop now.

I just need to remember...... people know more about me then I know about them. That could be dangerous at times.....sometimes I feel naked. And you definately dont want Me naked.....

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